


get me down on my knees

by rvspberry (lostnoise)



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bedsharing, Bondage, Come play, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom Bill S. Preston Esq., Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic, Dominance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Finger Sucking, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand Jobs, Heterosexual porn, Idiots in Love, Intercrural Sex, Light BDSM, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Neurodivergent Ted “Theodore” Logan, No Age Play, Pining, Porn Video, Post-Graduation, Praise Kink, Restraints, Rope Bondage, Sexual Fantasy, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Spit Kink, Sub Drop, Sub Ted “Theodore” Logan, Submission, Ted POV, morons to lovers, needs to be a real tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:22:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28916796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostnoise/pseuds/rvspberry
Summary: When the princesses go off to college, Bill and Ted start down a very different path to musical greatness. They land jobs at a local venue, move into a tiny apartment together, and they even have a routine down. But what starts with pushing their beds together to share body heat during a cold front one November evening turns into something quite a lot more than Ted could have imagined.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan & Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 71
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea on the back burner for at least a month now??? I wrote a scene that will come later in the fic and that inspired this whole story and so this fic has been living rent free in my head ever since.
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: This fic will be exploring daddy kink and that sort of dom/sub dynamic in later chapters. Please watch the tags because I will be updating them as more tags become relevant.
> 
> Title comes from Depeche Mode’s _Master and Servant_.

The thing about graduating high school is… well, Ted doesn’t know, but what he does know is that high school was hard and living with Bill is easy. They’re not under their fathers’ thumbs anymore - though Ted had been more firmly beneath his dad’s - and they can do things for themselves.

Like the apartment they got together after the princesses went off to college back in early June. It’s only a one bedroom, and they still sleep on twin mattresses, and the apartment is a bit of a wreck, but it’s theirs.

Or how they’d gotten jobs at a local venue and learned a little about music production. It sure beats working for Pretzels and Cheese, and it beats donating blood. Bill picks it up quicker, but he picks up everything quicker, and it means that he can explain it to Ted in a way that actually makes sense.

An apartment, jobs… They did that for themselves.

Or how they pool their money together to pay the bills, or for groceries, or for gas for their van. How Ted always drives them to work, and Bill always drives them back home because he knows Ted gets tired quickly after a long shift. Or how they go to the store together and plan out dinners for the week, with Bill pushing the cart and telling Ted what they need from the aisle. Or even how Bill will prep his toothbrush for him while Ted’s in the shower, or how Ted always makes sure he doesn’t use all the conditioner before Bill hops in after, because Bill needs it to keep up his rad curls.

They do all of that for themselves.

They do it for each other, too.

And, like, Ted guesses the thing about high school is that, besides traveling through time and space, Bill was the only real highlight.

~

One evening, after a most delectable meal of tacos and rice courtesy of Bill, Ted slakes off watching the rest of Headbanger’s Ball so he can slink into their shared bedroom and slip into his bed.

The sheets are cool against his skin as Ted settles in, head resting on his pillow, and takes a few slow breaths. The heavy sound of bass guitar from the living room puts him at ease.

It’s not really that Ted is tired, not really. He and Bill work less than full-time while they’re still trying to make the band successful, but today had been a longer day for Ted because he took Bill’s morning hours so Bill could go to the doctor. but laying in bed in the dark sometimes helps him feel a little more grounded. Helps block out the extra things going on around him, helps calm his thoughts into more manageable ones.

Sometimes things just go too fast for Ted to keep up, so he just… doesn’t. Bill’s the best at dragging Ted out of his mind and back into the present. Ted knows he’s a positive person and he bounces back from most things. He likes to smile. He likes being happy - it’s why he tries to wear a happy face somewhere at all times. Like a tiny reminder to himself and everyone around him.

But sometimes, just sometimes, Ted thinks things that are totally bogus. And tonight, Ted thinks that maybe he doesn’t deserve Bill.

Even the thought of losing Bill makes Ted spiral out of his mind.

So laying in their shared room that smells like potato chips and the dirty laundry stacking up in the corner, with their things tossed around together, with the chords of Anthrax’s _In My World_ playing in the living room, Ted can’t help but feel contented. Calm. Like he’s meant to be here, in this moment.

Ted tries to guess how many videos are left in the program before he shrugs to himself and starts wiggling his hips to work his boxers down.

It’s been a while since he’s had a girlfriend - since the princesses left, for sure. He hasn’t really seen any babes since (maybe snuck a kiss or two to one of their coworkers at the venue until she moved away for college, too) so he’s gotten friendly with his right hand.

Pushing his hand down against his dick, Ted lets his mind wander. There’s not much to think about as he idly touches himself, a casual pass of his palm and fingers curling around the head, and that alone gets him half-hard. His thoughts dance from bodacious babes in bikinis to babes washing cars, and it’s good, looks good in his head, but his mind doesn’t stay on any image in particular.

From the living room, Bill sighs loudly and suddenly he’s the image in Ted’s mind.

Spread out over the couch, knees opened wide and shoulders slumped, curls tumbling down onto his forehead. The folds of his oversized clothes hiding his body, but Ted’s seen Bill change before. He’s seen Bill in just a towel, coming back into their room from their tiny bathroom, his torso on display. The curve of his thick biceps, defined now that Bill’s bought a small set of weights he keeps in the living area. Hooded blue eyes gazing at the screen before they turn to him with a mischievous little smile.

Ted whimpers and squeezes his cock around the base before he lets go and spits onto his fingers and palm. He takes himself back in hand, sighing into his pillow at how much better it feels now that there’s something slick, and begins to stroke himself in earnest.

Part of him feels guilty that thinking about his best friend is getting him hard. That he’s touching himself thinking about Bill.

But then he thinks about the time this past summer when he and Bill had a day off of work and spent it at Waterloo, and how Bill had looked, wet and glistening in the sun like some BayWatch reject, and it had… done things. To him. It’s doing things to him now, just thinking about it.

Thinking about Bill’s arms flexing in the sun. About the way he surfaced from the water, flicking his curls back. About that slow, easy smile that Bill seems to save just for Ted, the way his eyes went even more hooded when he was looking at a babe, the way he sometimes bit his lip in thought.

Ted wants to bite his lip. He wants to kiss Bill, wants to touch his chest and his shoulders and his stomach. He wants to know what it’s like to be wrapped up in those strong arms.

His hand starts tugging slowly at his cock as he imagines tracing his hands down Bill’s arms, running his fingertips over the prominent veins in his forearms where practicing guitar has made them pop a little more. Ted’s most definitely noticed. He imagines curling his fingers around Bill’s wrists, rubbing his thumbs over the bone there, over the soft skin on the inside right over his veins.

His hand speeds up, his hips thrusting into his grip as he bites at his pillow to stifle any noise.

He shouldn’t be thinking about Bill’s strong arms, or his toned body, the way they’ll horse around and Bill gets him pinned on his front, or the way Bill tells him what to do, how Bill always takes such good care of him, or- or the way Bill says his name after a long jam session when they’re both sweaty and breathless, the way Bill pants it—

Ted comes over his fist with a soft groan into the pillow. He pants through the aftershocks as his dick twitches sensitively in his hand, letting out a pleased sigh as he finally trembles down from that high.

The door to the bedroom opens and light from the hallway spills inside, making Ted freeze up where he lays on his side.

“Ted?” Bill calls out softly from the doorway.

Ted’s too scared to say anything and tries to breathe evenly. Closes his eyes and presses his face into the pillow. Bill says nothing else, the light flickering off as Bill hits the hallway switch and steps into the dark bedroom. The door snicks shut softly behind him.

Ted’s expecting Bill to simply walk over to his bed and flop down, but Bill comes to his bed. Ted can hear him breathing. It’s comforting, usually, but Ted’s heart is going wild like Bill could read his mind or something. He feels so guilty for touching himself thinking about Bill. Bill can’t find out. His breath catches in his chest.

But all that happens is Bill reaches out to smooth his knuckles gently over the ridge of Ted’s cheekbone. It’s soft and sweet and it makes Ted’s gut ache with longing.

“Goodnight, Ted.”

Ted waits until Bill settles in his bed, waits until he hears the familiar soft snores, to sneak out of his bed and to the hallway bathroom to clean himself up. It’s after he’s sunk the soiled washcloth into their shared hamper that Ted turns to look at himself in the mirror. He takes a deep breath and attempts to level with himself.

“Pull yourself together, dude,” he murmurs softly, but there’s a waver in his voice.

Squinting accusingly at his reflection, Ted shuts the light off and goes back to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up kids. This chapter gets a little steamy.

It’s November in San Dimas when there comes an unexpected cold front rolling through the city.

Bill and Ted had cut off the heat because it’ll save them the most money. At least, that’s what Bill says, because Mr. Preston recommended it. But that means it’s chilly in the evenings, chillier than they’re used to handling it.

They usually keep a pillow between them on the couch, a safe amount of space between two male bodies, but tonight they’re huddled together under a blanket as they watch Star Trek reruns. They’ve been keeping the lights off when they can. It means they’re pressed together from shoulder to thigh to conserve heat, only the light of the television illuminating them. Thoughts pop into Ted’s mind unbidden, the same sort of thoughts that came to him a couple weeks back - the same thoughts that come to him when he’s in the shower, or can’t sleep after Bill’s gone to bed.

He tries to push them down and keep them out of his mind as he sits next to Bill, pushed up against his side.

That is, until Bill looks over at him.

“Maybe we should push our beds together,” Bill suggests out of nowhere.

“Huh?!” Ted says, whipping his head around and making his hair fly everywhere. Push their beds together?

It makes Ted think of a large mattress for them to spread out across, snuggling up together in the center.

“Tonight, to stay warm. That way we can just sleep how we always do without piling on, like, sweatshirts or anything.” Bill reaches outside of the blanket for his Pepsi on the table and a cold breeze blows through the opening Bill’s movement creates, making Ted shiver. When Bill notices, he quickly finishes the Pepsi and tucks the blanket back into place, burping as softly as possible under his breath. 

“Sorry, duder. Didn’t mean to make you any colder.”

“I guess it kind of makes your point, Bill,” Ted admits, chewing at the inside of his cheek. It’s not like he doesn’t want to be close to Bill. It’s just… he wants it a little too much. He tries for a smile at Bill.

“It’ll be like our old sleepovers,” Bill continues encouragingly, as if sensing Ted’s reluctance, and shoots Ted a wide grin. “Remember when we used to share a bed?”

And, like, of course Ted remembers.

Ted was never allowed to have sleepovers at his house, not with Captain Logan being who he is, and even if Ted had been allowed friends to stay over, it would have been awful. Completely heinous and most non-triumphant. But Ted’s inability to have friends over just made sleepovers at Bill’s that much more special. 

Those nights were probably the best sleep Ted’s ever gotten.

Being around Bill always makes him feel safe, of course, because Bill has always made him feel safe. But there was something else, something about sharing a bed with Bill, being wrapped up in Bill’s blankets and the smell of his detergent and a little bit of something else that was undeniably Bill. All of it together made Ted sleep like a baby.

He wonders idly if he’ll sleep like a baby tonight, too.

“Yeah, I remember,” Ted finally answers with a shrug. “Okay, dude. Sounds good to me!”

Later, though, when they’re moving the amp to Bill’s side of the bed and then pushing their frames and mattresses as close as possible, they lay the flat sheet Missy had gotten for them as a moving present over both mattresses and then pile on their blankets.

Ted wriggles under the covers, giggling gently as he shimmies around to get comfortable. Bill settles on his half of the bed and turns over to switch the lamp off. The sight of his back, naked, muscles toned and straining, makes his breath catch in his throat, and he’s outstandingly grateful for the darkness and Bill settling next to him for how he sighs shakily into his pillow.

It’s just the sound of their breathing now, slowing with the lights off, soft and even, and Ted rubs his cheek against his pillow.

“This is nice,” Ted murmurs quietly.

“Yeah. Like a sleepover again.” Bill shifts around until he’s facing Ted. “I always got so stoked when your dad would let you spend the night.”

“Me too,” he’s quick to reply and nods even though Bill can’t see him. “I always slept better at your house. You always made me—”

Ted cuts himself off and bites at the inside of his cheek again.

“What? ...Always made you what, Ted?”

“You always made me feel safe, dude,” Ted whispered into his pillow, face aflame with his embarrassment. He lets out a short groan. “Like. Like, you always take care of me. How could I not feel safe around you?”

“Ted,” Bill says softly.

Ted can tell just by the way Bill says his name that Bill is smiling one of those utterly pleased grins he gives Ted sometimes, when Ted says something smart, or something that Bill really loves to hear. Most of the time, it’s when Ted’s reciting lyrics from memory, or when Ted makes a comment about something overlooked in the sound production at work.

Smiles like he’s proud of Ted.

Ted will do almost anything to make sure he always gets those smiles from Bill.

He slides his legs against the cold sheets as if that will help warm them up faster, restlessly trying to get his skin heated.

“You okay?” Bill whispers, and Ted feels a familiar hand sliding over his own, squeezing Ted’s fingers.

“Yeah.” Ted turns his hand just enough to squeeze back. “Just, the sheets are still cold, dude.”

“C’mere, then, duder,” Bill mumbles, tugging at Ted’s hand. “It’s why we pushed the beds together, right? For warmth?”

Ted certainly knows about warmth. The warmth in his cheeks, specifically, when Bill draws him in and wraps a leg around both of Ted’s. The warmth of their skin where it’s pressed together.

Bill trails his foot down the back of Ted’s calf, and Ted has to fight back the urge to shiver and nods his head in response to Bill’s question. 

“For… warmth,” Ted repeats, distracted, but then his mouth cracks open on a yawn. “Thanks for the idea, Bill. This is. This is most non-heinous.”

“Mhm,” Bill hums sleepily. His fingers are still curled around Ted’s hand, held between them. “Goodnight, Ted.”

“Night, Bill.”

He stays up a little longer, not quite so sleepy as much as he is tired, and happy, and warm again. He easily follows the even, rhythmic cadence of Bill’s breathing into his dreams.

Ted wakes up slowly from a dream that he couldn’t place, something with his name whispered. A warm body against his front. The bed jostles gently below him, and it makes him sigh quietly as wakefulness slowly creeps in. When Ted’s eyes blink open slowly to the dim morning of their room washed in deep blues, he notices two things.

First, they kicked off one of the blankets in the night. He supposes their combined body heat was making them all sweaty with how his clothes feel tacky against his skin, even with the cold room around them.

Second, the jostling motion is coming from Bill’s bed pushed up against his own.

Because there, on Bill’s mattress, lay Bill.

Jerking off.

Bill is jerking off, and when Ted looks at Bill’s face, Bill has his head thrown back and pressed hard into his pillow in pleasure. He looks so beautiful like this, with soft panted breaths falling from his lips, with the tendons of his arms standing out in relief on each movement of his arm beneath the blanket. Ted wants to kiss him. Or bite him. Or replace the hand on his cock with Ted’s, so Ted could be the one to make Bill tip over and make the kinds of noises Ted’s been thinking about when he’s alone in the shower.

How could Ted not gasp when he sees Bill like this?

Bill immediately freezes up and, even in the relative darkness of the early morning, Ted sees Bill whip his head over to face him.

“Ted?!”

“Morning, Bill,” Ted says as he smacks his lips together against the taste of his morning breath.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. I thought you were asleep, I was— trying not to bother you, or like, wake you up.” Bill can’t look at him. “I didn’t mean to make things weird or anything.”

“Duder, it’s okay, see? I got a chubby too,” Ted says, raising the blanket to show off the tent in his boxers, but it’s still too dark to see anything under the blankets. 

Ted shoves the blanket down just enough and pulls his dick out instead. The morning light is just enough that he can see it, which means Bill can see it, and Ted grips the base of his dick, unwilling to move. That is, until Bill’s fist starts moving again, his free hand shoving the blanket down just enough that Ted finally gets a look at his cock.

It’s not like Ted’s never caught sight of it before. But never did he have the chance to look at it like this, hard and slick at the tip. It’s not as long as Ted’s dick, but it’s thick where Bill’s curled his fingers around it, and it’s flushed a dark pink, and he’s cut. There’s a little thatch of dark blonde pubes at the base that Ted really wants to push his fingers through just to hear how Bill reacts to the touch. And the tip of his dick looks shiny-wet in the dim light.

Ted’s hand starts moving on his cock too, a little hitching breath slipping loudly out in the still morning air.

“Bill,” he whispers, licking his lips. “What do you… what do you usually think about? When you… you know, right now?”

“Uh,” Bill chokes, squeezing the base of his dick. “Uh, girls?”

It sounds more like Bill is asking rather than telling him, which Ted isn’t used to. Bill usually tells him everything, whether it’s directions or facts or just what to do in a situation. So his response confuses Ted, but Ted mentally shrugs as he continues to touch himself.

“Do you ever, like,” Ted stutters out, twisting his palm over the sensitive head, pulling the foreskin up around it before tugging it back down. “Do you ever think about, like, specific things? That could happen?”

“What do you mean, Ted?” Bill asks, glancing over at Ted with furrowed brows.

Bill sounds breathless when he asks, and Ted writes it off for Bill touching himself. But Ted can’t tell if it’s a trick in the pale morning light or if Bill is actually gazing at him with heat. It makes Ted’s stomach flip over, makes him want to go belly-up in submission. 

“Well,” Ted says, and takes a shaky breath. “Like, having someone on top of me and, uh, holding my hands down? Or pinning my, um, my wrists down?” Ted moved his hand to match the pace of Bill’s. “Liz- Elizabeth used to do that, sometimes.”

“Yeah?” Bill pants, and his eyes are locked on Ted’s face. Ted can’t look away. “What’d she do?

“She would, like, kiss me while I was sitting down, and she’d grab my hands and, and she’d press them down on either side of my legs. Wouldn’t let me move them to touch her, and I… I just.” His cheeks heating up with each sentence confessed. Ted lets out a little moan, his hand speeding up. “I think about it, when I’m like this. I think about being held down.”

Bill groans then, and when Ted looks up Bill is gazing over at him, mouth panting, his lips red and bitten and wet. Again, Ted wants to kiss him.

“Yeah?” Bill whispers, nudging closer into Ted’s space. Their knuckles barely brush every few strokes, but it still makes Ted’s thighs clench against the urge to blow his load already. “You wanna be held down, Ted?” 

“Yes, Bill,” Ted whines his dutiful answer to Bill’s question, squeezing his eyes shut. His breathing grows ragged and stutters in his chest as he tries to prolong touching himself.

“Ted, open your eyes,” Bill whispers. “Look at me.”

Ted almost misses the words with how he’s on edge and panting. But Bill’s words always register - Ted may not be able to focus on many things in life, but Bill tops that short list. The way he says Ted’s name, the slow and even way he speaks, the subtle command in his tone.

So Ted opens his eyes and whimpers, teeth dragging his lower lip through his mouth when his eyes meet Bill’s, green nearly swallowed whole by the pupil. Ted twists his wrist and his hips snap forward. Bill moans and Ted can’t keep his mouth closed and his eyes open at the same time. He lets out these embarrassingly breathy cries with every stroke.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bill asks in the huskiest voice Ted’s heard him have, and Ted’s heard Bill after smoking a cigar when they visited the Wild West. Bill’s so close, it’s almost like he’s whispering into Ted’s ear. Ted shivers and nods eagerly, breath hitching on each inhale. He can’t look away from Bill’s green eyes staring intently into his own. “I… I can tell, ‘cause sometimes, sometimes I can hear you. Like, I can hear you touching yourself at night, or like, in the shower, and you make those noises, and they sound so good, Ted, I can’t—”

“Bill!” Ted cries out, body tensing as his orgasm hits him sudden and hard. He’s been on edge pretty much since Bill asked if he wanted to be held down. His dick spurts in his hand, twitching with each little wave and thankfully Ted catches most of it on his palm, his entire body shaking with the force of it.

“Ted!” Bill groans, rolling onto his back and fucking up into the tight circle of his fingers.

Ted’s gasping like he just finished a marathon when his dick finally stops and he drops his hand, eyes blinking open to watch Bill. It’s only a few thrusts of his hips up and then Bill paints slick white over his knuckles and dribbles a bit onto his belly. Ted lets out a soft curse at the sight, taking in the sight of Bill’s flushed cheeks, the sweat soaking his curls and making them stick to his forehead.

Ted reaches unthinkingly out with his clean hand and pushes Bill’s curls up and out of his face, smiling when Bill blinks his eyes open.

Bill smiles back at him.

“Ted, duder, that was...” Bill sighs, turning to grab tissues from the amp and helps Ted clean off his hand. Ted stares openly at the way the light, growing brighter around them, throws Bill’s muscles into stark relief. 

Then, Bill presses a clean tissue to the tiny bit that had gotten on Ted’s stomach, tracing down the length of his scar to his belly button and circling around it. Ted giggles, unable to help himself at the ticklish motion. Bill smiles at him as he quickly cleans himself up, and then Bill catches Ted’s hand in his hand. His fingers curl around Ted’s wrist, thumb brushing the bump of bone gently before passing over his pulse.

Ted shivers, hypersensitive and wanting more than he’ll ever deserve to have.

“Was it good for you?” Bill asks, and his brow furrows with concern and it’s. It’s frustratingly cute, how Bill takes care of him.

“Yes, Bill,” Ted nods, and he goes a little softer, his smile a little dopier. “It was, like, _really_ good, dude.”

“Dude, me too,” Bill giggles, and they laugh and share a little air guitar between them. “You want the first shower?”

“Are you going to prep my toothbrush for me?” Ted teases him gently, reaching out to poke Bill in the side.

His friend just giggles and flinches away, the wide grin on his face making Ted’s tummy flip pleasantly with butterflies. Like tiny flaps of thrilled excitement, turning his whole body loose and warm.

“Don’t I always, Ted?”

“Yeah.” Ted smiles widely, eyes crinkling in the corners. He turns his head to gaze over at Bill. “You know, you take really good care of me, Bill.”

“Well, Ted, my friend, you are my most excellent companion,” Bill starts, cracking a grin that makes him look startlingly handsome in the pale light of morning. “And I totally enjoy taking care of you, dude.”

Ted laughs and shakes his hair into his face, trying to hide the way he knows his cheeks are pinking up. “Well, Bill, my friend, I guess we’re just meant to be.”

He blushes harder at his phrasing and flops over in bed to crawl out of the covers on the other side, shivering in the cold early morning air. It’s like he’s trying to run away from the words that tumbled out of his mouth, and Ted can’t handle whatever kind of awkward laughter Bill would give him from such a dumb comment. 

Because he knows it was dumb to say something like that, and Ted doesn’t feel up to laughing it off after the confusing but pleasurable way he woke up. The orgasm that caught him so hard not even five minutes ago.

Ted grabs one of the less-dirty towels from the pile of laundry and plods into the bathroom to turn on the shower.

 _Made for each other._ That kind of thing only happened in the movies. Then again, they had traveled across time and space, throughout history, and they’d done it together. Ted starts stripping his clothes down, the door only half-open, and then steps into the shower.

The water’s mostly warm enough, but cold enough that it shocks his body back into alertness and out of arousal.

 _Everything is fine,_ Ted tells himself. Everything will go back to normal, now that Ted got a taste of his fantasies. It’s not a lot compared to the things Ted’s thought about; Bill didn’t kiss him, or hold him, but surely it’s still enough to have watched him in the peek of his pleasure.

This morning was... just a fluke.

Right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. This has been so much fun to write, I’m not gonna lie. It’s so interesting to explore two characters who have no clue what they’re doing on a good day try to navigate something like d/s by themselves.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter where things heat up a little bit 😜

Ted doesn’t have a lot of experience with pretty much anything beyond touching himself. He’s still a virgin, has only ever kissed a handful of girls, and kissing is totally amazing — Ted knows he’s a big fan of kissing.

But now that he’s eighteen, and the farthest he’s gone is kissing Elizabeth and going back to his house to jerk off beneath his blankets in the dark, and he’s living with his best friend who is bodaciously hot, and he’s coming to realize he’s not as straight as he thought he was…

Well, Ted considers the thing with Bill to be the furthest he’s gone.

Especially because it becomes a _thing_ for them.

Ted will wake up to Bill stroking himself slowly, waiting for Ted; or, if Ted wakes up first, he lays there rubbing his thighs together, pressing the heel of his hand down against his dick. Every morning, without fail, Bill jerks off together with him, talks them both through it, and it’s… it’s everything, to Ted. He doesn’t trust anyone the way he trusts Bill. Trusts Bill to take care of him and trusts Bill with the fantasies that Ted gives voice to. He trusts Bill with this.

And getting off with Bill? It’s the best thing he’s ever had. It’s certainly better than what someone like Ted deserves.

Which is why Ted doesn’t talk about it. Bill doesn’t, and Ted takes that as a sign that he shouldn’t bring it up either. He always takes his cues from Bill, always trusts Bill. This can just be another thing that’s theirs. Something that can just… exist, easy and simple, between them.

Now, if only Ted could convince himself to stop getting so riled up, if Ted could convince himself that it was just… just two friends, like, helping each other out, then everything would be perfect.

Ted comes home every time they have split shifts, and he expects their beds to be pushed apart. Instead, each time he comes home, Ted finds Bill playing up a late lunch for Ted and an early dinner for Bill before he heads off to the venue. And while Bill’s at work, Ted picks up their dirty laundry and he makes the bed carefully, complete with army-style corners tucked in.

One day, Ted comes home when Bill has the night off and Bill isn’t in the kitchen. He frowns, thrown off by the disruption of the routine he’d become used to.

“Bill?” he calls out as he shuts and locks the door behind him.

“Bedroom, duder!” Bill calls back.

Ted relaxes a little, shoulders dropping from where they’d crept up close to his ears, and he toes off his sneakers before plodding through the living room to their bedroom. Pausing in the doorway, Ted curled his fingers around the doorframe and clenched his jaw.

Inside their room, Bill was fixing the bed.

“You got back right in time,” Bill says. “Help me push these together! I got some rope to tie them together so the crack won’t be as big of a deal.”

“Whoa! Great thinking, Bill!” Ted tells him with a bright grin. Bill always has the best ideas.

The rope is thin and surprisingly soft when Ted tugs one side of it taut. Out of nowhere, he thinks about being tied up with this rope, held down in a different way. Restrained, giving whoever’s restraining him free reign of the rest of his body, completely at their mercy.

Ted takes a shaky breath and shoves that thought as far back as he can. It won’t stay down forever, but hopefully the thought will remain suppressed long enough for him to get into the shower by himself and _really_ think about it. Bill got one of those egg crate mattresses, just a thin layer of foam to cover the rope, and then the flat sheet, and finally a new sheet that Bill also bought.

(Bill wraps up the extra rope around his hand and forearm, and Ted honestly tries not to stare from beneath his bangs, but it doesn’t work very well. His eyes lock on the strain of muscle in Bill’s forearm, the same strain he sees when they jerk off together. Ted has to look away and fiddle with the pillows while Bill tucks the extra rope away somewhere, just to distract himself from doing something stupid like popping a boner outside of their morning routine.)

Ted shows Bill how he makes the bed every day for them, demonstrates how to get the neatest corners and the tightest tucks. When they’re done, Ted swears it’s the best-looking bed he’s ever seen. It’s warm and welcoming, the hodgepodge of blankets and pillowcases looking both kooky and cozy. Ted wants to flop right into the middle to test it out, but Bill touches his hip to get Ted’s attention.

“It’s time for dinner,” Bill tells him, and the twinkle in his eyes is the kind of joyous contentment that Ted loves to see on Bill’s face. 

And after that, Bill keeps touching him. Gentle touches at first, fleeting and barely there, like Bill’s afraid that Ted will shrug him off or something. Like Ted doesn’t feel better immediately with Bill’s touch. It starts with his knuckles on the back of Ted’s hand, and moves to an arm slung around his shoulders when they’re watching a movie together.

Then, the touches grow firmer.

Bill will grab his hips, sometimes, to move him out of the way when they’re in the kitchen together, or trying to share the bathroom in the morning, or to steer him in the right direction down the aisle at the store when Ted can’t quite find what they’re looking for. And Bill still smiles those proud smiles when Ted finally finds it, wiggling excitedly as he drops the item on their list into the cart.

Other times, Bill will touch the back of his neck and rub there gently when Ted needs to be grounded back into the present, to keep his head from spinning away. Or Bill will squeeze his shoulder gently to encourage him, a soft brush of fingers along the span of his shoulders before cupping around the opposite. Pulls him into side hugs.

Ted thinks the best touch is when Bill tugs him close and lets Ted rest his head on Bill’s shoulder, or on Bill’s chest, or on Bill’s thigh. Ted likes laying in Bill’s lap the best, because then Bill’s fingers idly play with his hair and it makes him melt into a sleepy puddle.

He files each moment away like a different music video to play in the back of his brain when he can’t sleep at night, lyrics swirling and music swelling around each touch.

Bill’s hand sliding across the slim width of his back, right along his waist. Bill’s fingers through his hair as Ted drapes himself along the rest of the couch with his legs hanging off the end just to stay close to Bill.

Or two mornings ago, when Bill panted next to Ted’s mouth in the dim morning, their knuckles brushing until Bill slid his fingers around Ted’s wrist and gripped tight, held Ted’s hand still, until Ted whined and whimpered Bill’s name and fucked into his fist twice, three times more and spilled over their fingers.

So, really, it shouldn’t be a surprise when Ted wakes up a week after that, the first week of December, and Bill’s half-awake, petting over Ted’s hip with one hand while the other grips his dick in a lazy, distracted hold. Ted blinks his eyes open and takes in the sight of Bill’s hooded eyes and the sleepy smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth when he catches sight of Ted waking up.

“Morning, duder,” Bill whispers, squeezing Ted’s hip firmly. It makes Ted breathe in sharply, harsh and sudden, at being touched so openly so early, when they’re both hard, before they’ve even really gotten worked up.

Ted humps his hips forward unwittingly, his eyelids fluttering shut as his dick shifts inside his boxers. The head drags against the smooth, worn cotton of his boxers.

“Morning, Bill,” Ted chokes out, eyes squeezing shut as his hand trails down, and he squeezes his dick through his boxers. He’s not ready to give into the feeling quite yet, not when Bill’s still got a hand on him, not when Bill’s looking at him so intently. Ted wants this to last forever.

As if reading Ted’s thoughts, Bill’s fingers fall away from his hip, and when Ted rocks his hips up to chase the heat and weight of Bill’s hand, those fingers catch on the waistband of Ted’s boxers and they snap gently back into place.

Bill groans next to him and Ted blinks his eyes open to see Bill staring down his body.

Ted wishes they didn’t have to do this when it’s so dark in their room. He wishes they could turn the lights on, so he could see what’s going on and commit it to memory when Bill inevitably finds a beautiful babe to—

“Ted, I wanna— can I try something, dude?” Bill asks distractedly as his hand stills under his own boxers. His eyes flick back up to Ted’s and pin him with the intensity of his gaze.

Ted can’t say a word, just swallows and nods. Puts all his trust into Bill, like he always has and always will.

Bill nods back. “Tell me if you don’t like it, okay?”

“Okay,” Ted whispers his consent, nodding again, and then shakes his hair out of his face as he waits for what Bill’s talking about.

A shiver runs down his spine when Bill tugs his boxers down and helps Ted guide them down his long, clumsy legs until Ted’s just wearing a shirt that rides up his tummy. Bill pushes his own boxers down and off and Ted swallows thickly at the sight of them, their lower halves so close and completely bare.

But then Bill has to go and make it even better by slotting up against Ted’s front and tugging Ted’s leg up over his hip. The sensation of skin-on-skin is overwhelming. Ted presses his leg along the back of Bill’s, making the most of every inch of Bill he can touch when they’re like this. When they’re like this, getting off together, Ted doesn’t have to worry about being too much. About looking or touching too much.

Ted’s distracted by the warmth of Bill’s skin so close, touching more than he’s ever been able to before, and so he isn’t paying attention to what exactly Bill has in mind.

Not until Bill’s dick slots up against his, not until Bill wraps his hand around both their dicks and rocks into the grip.

His cock drags along Ted’s, a little dry and a little rough, and yet it’s so good that Ted’s mouth falls open in pleasure as he breathes out a shaky exhale.

“Bill—!”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Bill whispers into the air, and Ted feels the humid puff of air on the length of his neck. 

Ted squeezes his eyes shut, barely breathing himself, but has to open them again when he hears Bill spit. Ted sees Bill spitting into his palm again before Bill wraps that palm around both of their dicks. Ted looks down and can’t tear his eyes away from the sight of them pressed together. Of the rosy-pink of the head of Bill’s dick, of the sight of it, thicker and shorter like Bill himself against Ted’s longer, darker length. Of Bill’s fingers curled around them.

“I got you, Ted,” Bill pants quietly into Ted’s ear.

And Ted can’t help but keen softly in response. Because Bill always has him. Bill always takes care of him, and this is just one more way of doing so. Maybe it’s a way that Ted likes a little too much, but that’s for him to know and for Bill to hopefully never find out.

Bill grips them in his hand, fingers and palm firm and slick around their cocks. He strokes with that hand and pumps his hips forward at the same time, and Ted lets out this high-pitched groan that makes his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Bill,” he whines. His leg tightens around Bill’s hip, pushing them even closer together.

Bill moans and picks his head up to catch Ted’s eyes. 

“Ted,” he breathes, and the air between them is humid and hot and Ted _wants_ , he wants so many things, but, if nothing else, he wants to kiss Bill. “What are you thinking about, Ted?”

And what does Ted even say to that? He can’t answer honestly, not the way he wants to; he doesn’t keep secrets from Bill, except for this one.

“This, how good— it feels so good, Bill, can’t think,” Ted pants, completely unable to finish a full sentence. His thoughts are everywhere, and the truth is on the tip of his tongue, ready to tumble right out of his mouth and trip him up for the rest of his life. “Just. This. Thinking about this.”

“Duder, me too,” Bill whispers his agreement, and he presses even closer, pants right back into Ted’s mouth. He nudges their noses together and Ted clenches his thighs, except Bill’s between them, and all it does is make his dick twitch in Bill’s hand. “Feels so good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” Ted hisses out, tilting his head back and biting at his lower lip. Ted reaches down to help Bill, but Bill smacks his hand away.

“No,” he says simply, voice resolute and commanding, and Ted’s mouth drops open on a silent moan. Bill’s free hand moves from Ted’s thigh to Ted’s hair, tugging him back so Bill can see him properly. “You don’t get to touch. Hands on my shoulders.”

His hands shoot up to clutch at Bill’s shoulders upon hearing the command, almost like his brain knew to comply before Ted could comprehend it. And he can’t look away from Bill’s eyes, even as their hips rock together in tandem inside Bill’s fist.

Ted’s leaking everywhere, his cock drooling pre-cum that gets Bill’s hand even wetter, and the sound of Bill stroking them together gets loud in the otherwise quiet stillness of the room. It makes these slick, filthy noises, and Ted’s stomach tightens the closer he gets to falling over the edge into his orgasm.

“I got you,” Bill repeats, and his fingers tighten around them. His thumb brushes over the head of Ted’s dick, pressing into the wetness at the tip.

Ted’s whole body quakes from the touch. He’s so close. Ted wants to come, wants to watch Bill come too, wants them to come together.

“Bill, Bill,” he chants, restlessly twitching his hips, and he digs his fingers into Bill’s shoulders to keep himself from touching like he’s not supposed to, and to keep himself from shaking apart, too. “So close, _please_!”

“Come on, Ted,” Bill breathes against his cheek. He moans gently and twists his wrist, hips thrusting forward again. “Come on. I got you.”

And really, that’s all it takes for Ted to absolutely lose it. He clutches at Bill’s back, mouth open wide on a loud moan that cracks through the air, as he comes thick, wet stripes over Bill’s fist and Bill’s cock and both their stomachs. Ted can’t stop shaking under Bill’s arm, with Bill’s hand still twined in his dark hair, and sees it in Bill’s face when he comes, too, shooting warm ropes onto Ted’s cock and stomach.

Ted looks down at the mess between them and fights back the urge to moan. He wishes he could take a photo so he could remember all the details of this moment, but Ted will just have to do with trying to commit it to memory. He tries to think of a song to relate this moment to, tries to think of the perfect lyrics to capture how hot and amazing this is, how it’s everything Ted’s ever wanted rolled into the most outstanding sight.

They’ve traveled through time and space, they’ve seen both the past and the future together, and yet this is the most earth-shattering moment Ted’s experienced with Bill.

Ted doesn’t want to move away. Doesn’t want to break the moment, even though he knows it’s got to end sometime. They need to shower, if nothing else.

“Whoa,” Bill whispers, nuzzling his nose against Ted’s cheek.

“Yeah,” Ted whispers back, eyes wide, before he shuts them to focus on the feeling of Bill being so sweetly affectionate. The hand in his hair gentles, fingers slackening to comb through his locks instead, and Ted lets out a pleased sigh when Bill’s fingers then start to rub tiny circles into his scalp. “Whoa.”

“We need to shower,” Bill says but he doesn’t make any motion to move them along, which is great because Ted wants to stay pressed alongside Bill for as long as he can manage.

Pulling away now to go take a shower by himself with Bill on the other side of the curtain - so close and yet so unreachable - sounds like torture.

“Wanna shower together? Save money on the water bill?”

Ted blinks widely, staring like an idiot at his best friend, as his mouth gapes in surprise.

“We don’t have to,” Bill hurries to say, and Ted’s mouth flaps open and shut unhelpfully with the whiplash of such an offer only to have Bill rescind it. “If it’s like— if that would be, like, a heinous idea, or whatever, we don’t—”

“We should do it, dude,” Ted cuts in quickly, and he still has Bill wrapped up in his arms, so he squeezes Bill gently. Shyly, especially when he realizes that his leg is still thrown over Bill’s hip. “If it’ll help save us money.”

“Excellent,” Bill breathes. The grin on his face is bright and happy. “I’ll wash your hair, duder.”

And Ted? Ted is a goner.

Because Bill washes his hair, and is so gentle with him, and gets Ted to sit on the edge of the tub while he suds up his head. Ted just listens to Bill, listens when Bill tells him to close his eyes, and to tip back his head, and he doesn’t think to question it when his head gently knocks into Bill’s stomach. He just takes comfort from the warmth of Bill’s body behind him. Of Bill taking care of him.

Even after the last of the shampoo is washed from his hair, Ted doesn’t want to move from where Bill’s petting gently at the back of his neck and across his shoulders. When Bill cranes his neck down and his lips brush across Ted’s ear, he whispers, “Can you wash mine too, duder?”

And what is Ted supposed to do besides just that, when Bill asks him so sweetly? How is he supposed to say no when he only wants to say yes?

So he says yes and carefully stands up. He washes and rinses Bill’s hair, soap pooling and swirling around their feet. And while the conditioner soaks in, Ted hesitates only for a moment after Bill curls his arms around Ted’s waist, and finally wraps Bill up in his arms, too.

Bill’s usually tactile already with him, but this… this quiet, unspoken affection is making Ted’s blood sing.

They get out of the shower and they get dressed, and Ted fights the dopey smile threatening to take over his face each time he and Bill catch eyes and Bill grins so widely at him.

Once they’re both dressed and their teeth are brushed and they’ve made their way into the kitchen, Bill pats a spot on the counter.

“Sit up here,” he tells Ted, and though he’s confused as to why, he still follows Bill’s instructions and his long legs hang over the edge of the counter.

He’s close to Bill while he cooks, though, is closer than if he’d banished himself to the couch like he usually does. He finds that he can do things he’s not able to when they’re not in the same room.

He can grin and share a little air guitar with Bill when Bill finds cheese and eggs in the fridge. He can reach for things in the cabinet to hand to Bill, like two plates and two cups, or he can dig into the drawer next to his thigh for a wooden spatula and two forks. He can stretch his legs out when Bill passes by, can trap Bill between them and reel him in, both of them giggling and shoving playfully, until Bill reaches out with quick, clever fingers to tickle at his sides. Ted lets Bill go with quiet laughter so he can finish cooking their scrambled eggs.

It’s Ted’s day off this time, so he thinks he’s ready when it’s time for Bill to leave.

Usually Ted’s in the living room or bedroom when Bill leaves. Bill will call out to him with when he expects to get home in the evening, and tells Ted what they’re having for dinner. He even reminds Ted with a phone call on his half-hour-long break to throw whatever freezer meal Bill decided on into the oven.

Today, though, Ted’s lingering in the kitchen to help Bill with the dishes. He just finished drying while Bill changes in their room, and when he moves into the hallway, he’s surprised to find Bill there.

He’s even more surprised when Bill wraps him up in an unexpected hug and presses his face against Ted’s chest. Ted only pauses for a moment before he’s hugging Bill back and burying his own face into Bill’s soft, sweet-smelling curls.

“Have a good day, Bill,” Ted whispers. He doesn’t want to let go after the morning they’ve had together, the soft intimacy, the easy affection.

“You too, duder,” Bill mumbles into Ted’s chest, and then he pulls back to smile up at Ted. “I’ll see you around eight, okay? We’re gonna have chicken mac and cheese tonight. I’ll call you when you need to put it in the oven.”

“Okay,” Ted agrees softly, letting his arms uncurl from around Bill. “See you around eight.”

Bill smiles again, eyes wrinkling at the corners.

“Bye, Ted.”

“Bye, Bill.”

When Ted shuts and locks the door behind Bill, he can’t help how he slumps back against it with a sigh.

He’s completely gone. Totally gone. There’s no coming back from this, now.

Because Ted knows for certain that he’s in love with his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These idiot babies. I love them so much. All I want is to smush them together to make them kiss. Instead we get to watch them flub and stumble their way through understanding their sexuality and sexual preferences. So much more fun this way, right?
> 
> Let me know what you think so far in a comment! And please please please know that kudos are super encouraging and I love and appreciate them so much!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer to finish this chapter than I thought it would. 😬
> 
> I’m currently recovering from top surgery (it went as well as can be expected!) but I keep pushing myself and end up needing way more rest in the evening than I’m used to. I usually get all my writing done in the evening and so this is a big shift for me.
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Content warnings in the end notes.

Morning showers together become as much of a ritual as getting off together. Ted just… doesn’t know what to make of it all, beyond another facet of them being different. They’ve always had a special relationship, a special friendship, and so Ted writes it off as that, because he has no other words for it. None that he’s willing to admit to, anyway.

He’s not about to tell Bill how much he truly enjoys their little morning rituals. How much he enjoys falling asleep next to Bill. How much he wants to be more than friends. Because that would mess up _everything._

For now, Ted languishes in getting his hair washed and washing Bill’s pretty curls, rubbing conditioner in to keep them looking their best. He takes the toothbrush when Bill hands it to him. He even tries to learn how to make scrambled eggs, and they don’t completely suck once he puts cheese and ketchup on them.

“These are most non-heinous, Ted! Good job!” Bill tells him, shoveling a forkful into his mouth and chewing happily. He bumps his elbow against Ted’s good-naturedly and Ted feels this warmth bubbling in his stomach.

“Thanks, dude,” Ted mumbles, shy, and takes a bite of the eggs.

Bill grins next to him and leans against Ted’s side where they sit together on the couch. It’s just incredibly nice to be like this. To be together.

This is all just a new part of their friendship.

That’s all it is.

~

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, after they make their rounds between Bill’s childhood home with Mr. Preston and Missy, and Ted’s dad’s house with Captain Logan and Deacon. They have a normal rotation of places they go beyond work and their apartment and the Preston residence, seeing as they rarely visit Ted’s dad outside of holidays. It’s usually the mall, or the diner, or the movies, or the pizza parlor, if they’re going anywhere else.

Ted is still filled up on too much turkey and mashed potatoes and doesn’t want to do anything today since they have to work that evening, both of them booked for an event coming through San Dimas.

“You know that shop over in Riverside?” Bill asks him that morning, after their shower and after Bill makes pancakes.

They’re sitting next to each other on the couch, pressed together shoulder to knee. They’d ditched the pillow they used to keep between them and it’s the best, really, because Ted gets to snuggle up to Bill in the evenings when they’re both home while they watch Headbanger’s Ball or Star Trek or a random movie Bill finds on the TV.

Ted furrows his brows together in confusion. “Well, Bill, my friend, there are a great many number of shops in Riverside. Which one are you talking about?”

“Uh—” Bill blushes a bright red and suddenly, Ted knows exactly which shop Bill’s referencing. Without him even saying, “The. The sex shop.”

“Oh! Yeah,” Ted nods, hair shaking into his face to block his own flush of embarrassment. “What about it?”

“Well, duder, we're eighteen now.” A factual statement if there ever was one. “So, like, I went there, while you were working on Wednesday. Got us something to watch. You know, together.”

Ted’s brain short-circuits a little just thinking about it. About watching porn with Bill.

It’s not like he’ll be able to focus on the girls in the video. He doesn’t even know what the video is about. It could be something as simple as girls stripping out of their bikinis. It might be something with- with like, girls kissing each other. And that would be alright, Ted guesses, but with him and Bill having their morning ritual, Ted wants to know more about that.

About two dudes being together.

“Okay,” Ted blurts out, still dazed by the prospect. They jerk off together, sometimes rub their dicks together, even, so this isn’t so far out of the realm of possibility, right? It’s probably better this way, because now Ted can pretend that something other than Bill is what’s getting him off. “What, uh. What’s it called?”

Bill’s cheeks are bright red as he holds up a hand and heads into the bedroom, apparently digging the video out from under his bed before coming back into the living room. He holds the tape up for Ted to read.

“ _New York Bound_ ,” Ted reads, confused, and he blinks up at Bill. “Dude, are you sure it’s a porno? It sounds like a normal movie.”

“It’s—” Bill licks his lips and ducks his head only to glance back up at Ted through his eyelashes. It’s bogus, totally bogus, how good Bill looks when he gazes over at Ted like that. “It’s about, like, tying people up, Ted. I thought you said you liked that.”

Ted’s dick twitches in his jeans when Bill admits what the porno is about. This is. Dangerous, probably. Flying too close to the sun like that dude from that fairy tale or whatever that they learned in high school. Ted feels a lot like he’s flying, and a lot like he’s burning up, too.

“I do,” comes Ted’s breathy reply, and now he licks his lips. He’s sure he’s seeing things when Bill’s eyes flick down to his mouth to watch the tip of Ted’s tongue trace his lower lip. “I really— yeah. Um. You should put it on, dude. We can see if it’s any good.”

They just jerked off, like, half an hour ago, but they’re eighteen and constantly horny, and Ted gets going so easily whenever Bill is around. And, like, even though Ted’s not going to be as focused on the chicks in the video, he’s kind of excited to see it. He’s curious to see what other people do, how people who know what they’re doing… do it.

All Ted knows is he likes when he can’t touch.

So he tries not to stare for too long when Bill kneels down to slip the VHS into the tape player and change the setting on the TV. Bill even adjusts the volume as the movie starts to play.

The thing is… Ted’s never seen a porno, not really. He and Bill didn’t have any other friends in high school, and beyond Bill finding some skin mags in his dad’s room, Ted’s doesn’t have experience with like, naked girls.

The movie starts simply enough with the guy behind the camera interviewing the girl - Destiny, a tiny slip of a woman with tan skin, short dark hair, and dark eyes - before she starts stripping off her clothes. Ted grips the couch cushion tightly in his fist as lacy underthings get exposed, a matching set of bra and underwear in this dusky pink color that goes well with the tan of her skin. The guy behind the camera comes around to stand in front of her and reaches out to cup her chin in his hand.

 _“You’re going to be a good girl for me, isn’t that right?”_ the man asks, thumb rubbing along her jaw.

 _“I’ll be so good for you, daddy,”_ she says back, looking up at the man eagerly.

Ted’s heart thumps almost painfully in his chest.

 _“I’ll take such good care of you, baby, I promise,”_ the man tells her and slides his thumb over her lips, both of them moaning when she sucks the very top of it into her mouth. _“That’s a good girl. Now get your hands behind your back.”_

The man comes back to the camera and pulls out some rope, thin and dark, and when Destiny settles on her knees on the floor in front of the couch, hands behind her back, she looks up with a sort of dazed look on her face.

 _“You don’t get to touch until I say you can,”_ the man instructs, sliding a hand into her dark hair and tugging her head back. It exposes the length of her throat, and she gasped loudly but lets out a moan of pleasure. _“Do you understand?”_

 _“Yes, daddy, I won’t touch, not allowed to,”_ she says with those big eyes staring up at him obediently.

The man starts to wrap her body up with the rope in patterns Ted’s never imagined before, across her chest to push her tits out enticingly, over her stomach, around her arms, until she’s secured tightly on her knees.

It’s in that very moment that Ted realizes that he wants to be this girl in the movie. He wants to be taken care of, wants to be tied up like this, until he can’t move without permission from the person taking care of him. He wants to be told what to do, what not to do. He wants boundaries and someone to guide him. He wants to please that someone. Wants to make them happy, and proud of him, for doing what he’s told.

He wants that someone to be Bill.

Ted swallows thickly around his realization and, as subtly as possible, cuts his eyes over to look at Bill. His friend is leaned forward, captivated by the sight on screen. He can tell that Bill’s trying to hide a chubby in the folds of his oversized clothes, and that at least makes Ted feel a little better because he’s half-hard watching this. But whereas Bill is getting hard from the girl’s body, Ted is getting hard at the idea of someone taking care of him like this.

When the man is done, and steps back, Destiny looks dazed again, overwhelmed and pleased and contented. Ted wonders if he’d feel like that too with his arms bound behind his back.

“Dude, can I—” Bill cuts himself off, biting at his lower lip. Ted glances over, mouth parted in confusion, until he sees Bill’s hand reaching towards his jeans, popping the button and unzipping the fly.

“Whoa,” Ted whispers, glancing back to the television where the guy’s feeling up the babe on screen, cupping and rubbing her tits through the fabric of her bra.

Ted squirms at the idea of being in that position. Tied up, getting his chest rubbed, his whole body at the mercy of someone else’s touch.

When the man stands up, he pulls his jeans down just enough to take his cock out and holds it firmly in his hand to trace the head around Destiny’s lips. Ted just— has to lick his own. He’s seen Bill’s dick so many times by now, and seeing this couple on screen, Ted wants to know what Bill’s dick tastes like.

When he just squirms again, Bill reaches over and cups a hand over Ted’s knee.

Ted looks up, hair flying around his face in his surprise, and he locks eyes with Bill.

“Dude, you can touch yourself, too,” Bill says. Rubs Ted’s knee encouragingly, then trails his fingers up the inside of Ted’s thigh. “Take yourself out, Ted.”

Without even consciously realizing it, Ted moves his fingers deftly to the fly of his own jeans and does just as he was instructed. His hand curls around the base of his dick and he bites at his lip, waiting and watching the screen. Bill’s hand is still on his thigh, a total distraction from the porno but a total grounding in Ted’s actual fantasy.

He looks down at the way Bill’s fingers look, thick and firm on his leg, digging into the fabric of Ted’s jeans. He could imagine what they’d look like on his bare skin, what they’d look like wrapped around his cock.

Ted takes a shaky breath.

“Touch yourself, duder,” Bill instructs. He scoots over on the couch until he’s pressed up next to Ted.

Ted thinks he’s going to overheat like this. He wants to strip his shirt off, but even with being shirtless around Bill so many times, he’s nervous to expose himself even more than he already has. Because, like, what if Bill only wants this? It makes sense, right, that Bill just wants to get off together. Like they always do.

That’s all this is — just them taking care of their base needs. Ted knows it. It’d be best if he could remind himself of that. If he could actually get it through his thick skull that Bill is straight and Ted is a convenient friend.

Still, Ted does as Bill tells him to, like he always does. 

He grips his dick and strokes it gently, looking over at Bill. But where he’d expected Bill to be watching the movie again, where the babe is totally sucking on the guy’s dick, Bill is looking at him. Green eyes sweep up and down Ted’s body, taking in everything from Ted’s face to Ted’s hand around himself, and Ted feels his dick twitch in his grip at the attention.

For Ted, this is borderline torture having Bill so close and yet not close enough all at once.

“Ted,” Bill whispers, and Ted takes a deep, shaky breath.

“Yeah, Bill?”

“Can I… let me take care of you, duder,” Bill says, and the hand on his thigh inches closer to Ted’s dick. “I want to take care of you.”

The words go to Ted’s head - both of them, really - and Ted gasps softly at the implication. He thinks about the way the couple on the television are taking care of each other. “Yeah- yes. _Please_ , Bill.”

Bill groans next to him and leans his cheek against Ted’s shoulder as he pushes Ted’s hand away and finally curls his own around Ted’s dick. Only Ted’s. He’s been wondering what this would feel like for ages now, ever since his mind went sideways that one night and he started thinking about Bill.

He glances over at the television and sees that the couple on screen have changed things up, where the man is kneeling behind Destiny with his hand down the front of her panties. She’s moaning and arching her neck, pushing her head back against the man’s shoulder; she can’t go anywhere or do anything but take what she’s being given.

Ted wants that so badly. Moans at the thought of it as much as the way Bill’s hand twists at the head of his dick.

“You wanna be tied up like that, Ted?” Bill whispers into his ear while his hand continues to stroke Ted. It’s dry but Ted is dribbling out precum readily and it makes everything just slick enough to be good. Bill still leans forward and spits on Ted’s dick, punching a groan from Ted’s throat. It’s way hotter than it has any right to be, but Ted can’t help himself.

“Yeah,” Ted agrees and nods, thrusting his hips up into Bill’s touch.

Ted’s brain is going to leak out of his ears at this rate, with how Bill is just… completely rocking his world. And he doesn’t even know it. Ted should put a stop to this, right? Because it’s not fair to Bill that Ted is enjoying it so much, when Bill’s just trying to help. When he’s just taking care of Ted.

A small part wishes Bill would take care of him forever. And, like, part of Ted knows Bill will, in some ways, but once Bill finds a babe as bodacious as he is, Ted’s going to lose so much of this. Not just the sex stuff, but the bed sharing, and the morning showers, and making breakfast together, and the cuddles while they watch something together on the couch. But it’s not enough, not for Ted. He wants more.

He wants to kiss Bill.

Just the thought of Bill kissing him sets him on edge, and he hisses in a breath through his teeth.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like this one,” Bill tells him. His free hand moves to clutch at the back of Ted’s neck and it effectively stills Ted from any movements at all. “When I saw it, I thought about you. What you told me. How you like being held down. I think you’d like being tied up, too.”

On the television, the man tips Destiny forward onto her chest and knees, her cheek pressed to the carpet, with her hands still tied behind her and her ass up in the air. The man cups her ass in either hand and she moans, pushing back into his touch. Then she lets out a loud cry when the man’s hand flies through the air and lands with an equally loud smack on her ass.

“Bill,” Ted moans, throwing his head back into the couch. He could imagine himself like that, under Bill’s gaze, the feel of Bill’s hand slapping his ass, with Ted having no other choice but to just take it. “C-close…”

Bill moves his hand and traces his fingers down the front of Ted’s throat. “Let go for me, Ted. You’ve been so good for me tonight, just- come for me…”

His eyes roll back in his head when Bill’s hand presses down ever so gently onto his neck, and—

Ted comes in white streaks over Bill’s hand and his own shirt while the couple on screen moans with increasing volume. Ted pants as he comes down, head swirling, and lifts his gaze just in time to see Bill curiously lick at the cum on his fingers.

“Bill,” Ted whines, and he’s not proud of that, but he wants so much. He wants _Bill_ so much.

But instead of kissing Bill the way Ted wants to, Ted spits on his hand and curls his fingers around Bill’s cock. He likes the weight of it in his hand, he finds; he likes the way Bill groans from the sweet pressure, the way Bill’s hands move to Ted’s knee and the back of his neck again.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” Bill breathes, leaning his forehead against Ted’s cheek. “So good, Ted, always so good for me.”

If Ted hadn’t just had a mind-melting orgasm, he’s sure he would be eager to finish all over again just hearing the praise falling from Bill’s lips.

“Just for you,” Ted confesses, biting at his lower lip to keep himself from confessing anything else, from giving away any more of himself. He stuffs his feelings as deep down as he can and speeds up his pace, twisting his wrist when his palm catches around the head. “It’s your turn, Bill. I wanna see it. Wanna make you—”

Bill’s loud shout of Ted’s name comes as a shock to both of them, and it’s the only warning Ted receives before Bill is coming between them, cum falling onto his jeans and Ted’s hand. Ted strokes him through it gently until Bill is shaking and Ted finally pulls back. Bill is panting and his eyes are hooded where he gazes up at Ted, and he looks as dazed as Ted feels.

He’s… really beautiful, like this. He’s always beautiful, and Ted knows how beautiful Bill looks post-orgasm from all their morning sessions, but now? After blowing his load all over Ted’s hand because Ted touched him? Because _Ted_ made him come?

Ted doesn’t think Bill’s ever been more beautiful than right here and now.

The urge to kiss Bill swells up inside of him again, made even more desperate by Bill’s eyes flickering down to his lips. He wonders what Bill’s lips would feel like. If they’d be soft, or slightly chapped, if he’d kiss Ted hard, or if he’d start slow. If he’d cup Ted’s cheeks, or his chin, touch his hair, pin his hands...

Ted looks at Bill’s hand, streaked with Ted’s cum. “Whoa, dude, let me—”

He pulls Bill’s hand up to his mouth with fingers around Bill’s wrist and starts licking kittenishly at Bill’s palm, tongue curling around his fingers until he sucks two of them into his mouth at once.

Bill’s eyebrows furrow together and his teeth dig into his lower lip as he watches Ted’s mouth on his hand. Ted pulls back with a soft popping wet noise and a deep, shaky inhale.

“Had to clean up my mess, right?” Ted says, voice just as shaky as his breath.

Bill nods slowly, dumbly, and then he seems to shake himself out of whatever stupor he’d been caught up in.

“Clean up mine, too,” Bill whispers, chin gesturing to Ted’s hand still covered with Bill’s cum.

They share a look, eyes locked, and Ted melts under the weight of Bill’s hot eyes all hooded, pupils blown, backed up by that commanding tone in Bill’s voice. Ted would do damn near anything if Bill told him to in that voice. Ted can’t look away from where Bill’s eyes have him pinned, even as he trails his tongue up his hand and over his fingers. He sucks gently at the cum staining his skin, wishing he could rub it in instead of licking it up.

Wants Bill rubbed into his skin, wants to be marked by him, but those are selfish thoughts. Ted wishes he could be selfish with Bill, but Bill takes such good care of him and he certainly doesn’t deserve Ted’s fixation. His crush.

Bill groans when Ted finishes and licks his lips after. He leans in to press his forehead against Ted’s shoulder and Ted only hesitates for a split second before he’s leaning his head against Bill’s.

“That was most resplendent, duder,” Bill says in a quiet voice just for the two of them.

“Yeah. Good idea, Bill.”

“Maybe next time… we can go to the store together?”

Ted blushes something fierce, his cheeks going bright red. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that, Bill.”

Ted pulls back when Bill wriggles his head away and then Bill is sitting back and smiling at him. For a long moment, as they sit there smiling at each other, Ted thinks maybe - just maybe - Bill is going to kiss him.

But Bill just reaches out to pat Ted’s thigh. “Let’s get a shower, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ted nods, letting his hair fall into his face and obscure his expression.

He tries not to let it show how crestfallen he is, and Ted can only hope he succeeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: The boys watch heterosexual porn together. Putting this as a warning bc some people like to avoid het stuff altogether.
> 
> ~
> 
> More pining, more angst, more longing and yearning. All the good stuff 😝 They’re slowly getting deeper into things.
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on Twitter or tumblr:
> 
> https://twitter.com/rvspberryjonas
> 
> http://rvspberryjvm.tumblr.com/
> 
> Let me know what you guys think of this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... this chapter was initially supposed to go a different way but the characters just pulled me to do something else. It’s probably the longest chapter so far at 3.8k, but like, I think it’s worth the read.
> 
> A big old thank you to Anna (aka HeckInAHandbasket) for giving this chapter a cursory read-through and just being an all around excellent friend and beta reader.

It takes another week for Ted to gather up the courage to ask Bill to drive them to that shop in Riverside. Ted’s seen it dozens of times in his life, riding past the storefront tucked into a shady corner of a tiny strip mall, but he’s never thought about going in past the vague curiosity of wondering what it’s like inside. Part of Ted is a little resentful that Bill went without him; the other, much larger part of him is thankful that Bill braved the store first. Bill having that base knowledge to help Ted mirrors the rest of their life together, like this is just another thing to do together.

Just another thing between friends.

That list of things between Bill and Ted, _just friend things_ grows longer the more time passes. Ted is far from complaining about it - he likes everything they do together, and he doesn’t want to give any of it up - but he does idly wonder when Bill is going to find himself tired of dragging Ted along with him. Tired of taking care of Ted.

Ted pushes that particular worry down and locks it behind as many prison bars and cement walls that he can.

When Ted finally asks one evening as they’re cooking dinner - well, as Bill is cooking dinner and Ted grabs the ingredients he asks for, Bill looks dumbstruck for a moment before he breaks into a wide grin. “Yeah? You really want to?”

“Well, you went all by yourself,” Ted points out matter of factly, giving a careless shrug. “As long as you’re with me, too, I want to go.”

The smile on Bill’s face softens slightly and it makes Ted glance away, all of a sudden shy and sheepish.

“Of course I’ll be there with you, Ted.” Bill’s hand comes out to cup Ted’s shoulder where they’re standing hip to hip near the stove and pulls Ted into a side hug. “I would never leave you by yourself.”

Ted tries not to lean against Bill too much but he wants to. Wants to rest his cheek on Bill’s head, or stand behind him and hold him as he cooks dinner. Hearing those words from Bill’s mouth are everything he wants to hear, and yet still short of what Ted truly wishes for.

“Thanks, Bill,” he says softly, ducking his head to hide behind his hair. “You’re a most outstanding friend.”

“So are you, Ted! My best friend in the whole entire universe.”

It’s not a confession, because they both know it to be true, but it puts a smile on Ted’s lips for the rest of the night and only slips off once Ted falls asleep with Bill’s face buried in his chest.

~

When Ted wakes up that morning, Bill isn’t awake yet. They’re wrapped up in the warmth of their blankets, cocooned like little caterpillars from the winter chill in their apartment. It’s Saturday morning.

Saturday mornings are special because after their usual wake-up routine of jerking off, showering, and making breakfast, they settle on the couch to watch cartoons together. Bill loves the Snorks and Ted loves the Smurfs, and they both love Scooby Doo.

Ted’s in his usual boxer shorts and t-shirt - one of Bill’s shirts, actually, because Bill had thrown it at his face when Ted asked for a shirt to sleep in. It rode up a little on his stomach to expose the scar above his navel and the little trail of hair that led down into his boxers. Bill’s behind him, arms wrapped around Ted’s waist, and it feels good. 

Ted is a little hot, actually, even with the chill around them. There’s sweat beading along his skin, sticking to Bill’s skin because they’re pressed up against each other. Ted wants to revel in this for as long as he can, half-asleep and comfortable and so close to Bill. It’s almost what he wants, almost what Ted craves every time they fall asleep or wake up together, or when they take their joint showers and brush their teeth together, or when they make meals or do each other’s laundry or, or— or any number of things they do together, for each other.

Ted just. Wants there to be more to it than friendship.

It takes longer than he wants to admit to realize that Bill, pressed up against his back, is steadily rocking his hips against Ted’s ass. Rocking his _hard dick_ into Ted’s ass.

It makes Ted gasp quietly in the still morning air, pale blue turning white as the sun slowly rises outside.

Ted isn’t so dumb that he can’t imagine what two dudes can do together. They must do a lot of the same things that a dude and a babe can do together. And he’s thought about some of those things with Bill. When it comes to actual sex, though, there’s really only one way things can happen, and it makes Ted go hot all over his skin thinking about it.

Thinking about Bill inside of him.

It would probably hurt, at first. But dudes wouldn’t do it unless they liked it, right? Gay dudes wouldn’t be gay if things weren’t fun and didn’t feel good.

He presses his ass back, eyes falling closed, as he imagines it. Imagines the rocking of Bill behind him, the rocking of their bodies together, Bill pressed all around him. It makes Ted’s breath grow heavier with excitement, going from half-hard to fully hard.

“Ted,” Billy groans softly, mouth brushing over the back of Ted’s neck. It makes Ted shiver in Bill’s arms, makes him moan and press back against Bill. Bill inhales shakily and presses his face against Ted’s neck while his arms tighten slightly around Ted’s waist. “Dude… you feel…” One arm unwinds and moves to grip Ted’s hip tightly. Ted fights back a moan as he literally bites the pillow to keep the noise down. “You feel good. Is this okay?”

Ted nods and lets the pillow fall from his mouth. “Yeah, this is—” Ted swallows back the words that are grappling to fall from his lips. _Perfect. Everything I want. Not enough._ “This is good.”

Bill nods and rocks forward again, more purposeful than the lazy, twitching movements from when he was asleep. They both gasp when Bill’s dick slots up against Ted’s crack, and the weight of it resting there, with only two thin layers of fabric separating them, brings a moan tumbling from Ted’s throat. It’s guttural and deep and he clutches at the sheets as blood rushes to his cheeks at how needy and eager Ted sounds. He needs to play his cards better. He can’t seem like he wants this too much. That would make things weird.

But Bill pants against the side of his neck and does it again, the warm length of himit dragging fabric over the heat of Ted’s hole. They both moan, startled and heated, and Ted can’t help how he shifts back against Bill, then forward into the barely-there friction of the sheets.

“Ted,” Bill breathes quietly over Ted’s ear. “I’m gonna… Um, can I…?”

He trails off, and Ted just nods and swallows. “You can do, like, whatever, Bill.” He looks over his shoulder at Bill, seeking out those familiar hooded green eyes that send butterflies through his stomach. “Anything.”

It’s exposing, maybe, to admit that to Bill. Because it’s true. Ted would let him do almost anything if it meant Ted got to be the center of Bill’s attention, and if it meant that Bill would continue pressing up against his back and touching him, and-- Ted just wanted so much from Bill. More than he could ever ask for.

“Press your thighs together,” Bill whispers as the hand on Ted’s hip slips over Ted’s stomach to trail teasingly over his hypersensitive skin.

Goosebumps break out over Ted’s skin and he licks his lips, nodding as he does as Bill says. Blunt fingernails scrape gently over Ted’s treasure trail and Ted breathes in sharply at the sensation, presses his cheek back against his pillow, and digs his fingers into the softness of it to try to ground himself. He hears Bill spit once, twice, and is glad he’s facing away from his friend so that Bill can’t see the way his dick twitches at the sound. He bites at the pillow again, needing something to keep his mouth from running away from himself.

Spit-slick and hot and hard, Bill’s bare cock presses into the tight space of Ted’s thighs. Ted revels in the way Bill curses into his skin, loves how Bill keeps touching all over him, can’t seem to stop touching his stomach and pushing up under Bill’s shirt to rub at his chest. Ted moans softly and clenches his thighs tighter around Bill’s dick.

He’s so distracted by the slow, steady thrusting of Bill between his legs that Ted doesn’t notice that Bill’s hand is in front of his face until two fingers trace over his lips. 

Ted parts his mouth eagerly and sucks those fingers into his mouth with another moan, curls his tongue around them, mimicking everything he wants to do to Bill’s dick. Bill’s dick pulses between his thighs, still rocking forward and back, and it makes Ted want it in his mouth even more, with Bill’s hips rocking gently against his face. Ted needs practice, he knows that; knows he won’t be able to take Bill deep, knows that maybe it won’t even be very good, but he wants to learn how to make it good for Bill. Wants to know what will make Bill gasp and moan, wants to know if the vein beneath the head of Bill’s dick is as sensitive as Ted’s is, he wants—

“Get my hand wet,” Bill tells him, words husky and demanding in Ted’s ear, and it sends a pleasant shiver through Ted’s body.

Ted groans and sucks his fingers a little too deep, his head moving eagerly on them, but he gags a little when they hit the back of his throat. They both moan simultaneously at the sensation, and Ted scrapes his teeth gently over Bill’s fingers as they pull slowly from his mouth. His lips are red and puffy and sensitive, and he pants once his mouth is empty, but he laves his tongue out over Bill’s palm eagerly. Gets it wet like he was told to, even gathers the saliva in his mouth and spits on it, and revels in the little groan behind him, and the way Bill’s hips kick forward almost like the sharp thrust was unintentional.

“Again,” Bill tells him in that dark, fucked out voice that sends a shiver through steams body.

Ted does as he’s told and spits again.

Bill’s hand then drops quickly to palm at Ted’s cock, wrapping tight and wet around him. Bill jerks him fast as his hips pick up, and Ted can almost imagine what it would be like to get fucked by Bill. The rhythmic thrusting, the sound of Bill’s balls slapping against the back of his thighs, and little grunts slipping from Bill’s mouth, the hot breath panted out over the back of his neck - it’s all overwhelming and hot.

Ted wishes he could just. Just turn his head, and press their lips together...

Bill pulls his dick back and spits on it again, then twice, then three times, before he slots it back between Ted’s thighs and it’s wetter this time, his dick dripping precum, and starts fucking Ted’s thighs harder, grips Ted tighter, startling out a loud moan from his mouth.

It’s all so hot. Sweat beads along his back where Bill’s stomach presses against his skin, and the tiny twitches in his muscles, where Ted can feel them, bring him even closer.

“Bill,” he whines, letting go of the pillow to reach back and clutch at Bill’s bare hip. He gasps when Bill’s hand starts playing with the head of his cock, toying with the foreskin, and it makes Ted’s hips jerk forward into the grip, makes his thighs clench tighter, makes Bill groan and squeeze around Ted’s dick.

Ted arches his head back, moaning again. He can’t hear anything over the rush of blood through his ears, but can feel Bill mumbling something over his shoulder.

“‘M close, I’m so close, Bill,” Ted pants, fingernails digging into Bill’s hip. 

“Me too,” Bill tells him, mouthing as best as he can over Ted’s neck.

And it’s so close to a kiss, that brush of his mouth, that it sends Ted right over the edge. His whole body tenses up as his dick twitches and spurts all over Bill’s hand and up his stomach. Ted shivers and shakes through his orgasm, still clutching at Bill’s hip tightly. Bill strokes him through it the whole time, thumb swiping through the mess over the head of his cock, until Ted’s shaking and whining in overstimulation.

Bill drops his hand once Ted pushes weakly at it, grabbing Ted’s thigh to hold it down tightly as he fucks forward with purpose. Ted’s chin falls to his chest to look down his body. He watches the hot-pink head butting through his legs, and it only takes a handful of thrusts before Bill is spilling hot white over his thighs. Bill’s hips rock forward a few more times, Ted clenching his thighs again to make it good; behind him Bill groans and his sweaty forehead presses against the back of Ted’s equally sweaty neck.

Both of them lay there, panting and strung out on pleasure as their cum starts to cool and dry.

“You— Ted,” Bill whispers into his neck and, like it came straight from his most secretive of dreams, presses a soft kiss right at the top of his spine. “You’re so good Ted.”

Ted’s going to think about that kiss forever.

Ted knows he’s probably acting a little weird the rest of the morning. He’s quiet, lost in his thoughts, slow to respond to Bill’s questions with the easy focus he usually keeps reserved for his best friend. But the more Ted thinks about this whole situation, the more he wants. There’s a feeling that he’s never really givengave time to before, an emptiness that Bill fills every time they get close. The kiss tore that unspoken void wide open and Ted can’t help the way he rubs at his chest like it’s a physical sore.

“Ted?” Bill’s voice cuts through his thoughts, and Ted looks up, guilty and ashamed by the look on Bill’s face. Because Bill looks sad. Hurt. He’s biting at his lower lip. “Are, uh. Are you okay, duder?”

And it’s not Bill’s fault that Ted feels the way he does. It’s not Bill’s fault that Ted can’t keep his feelings to himself. Bill’s going to find a most bodacious babe sometime soon, because Bill is a bodacious babe himself, and he’ll forget all about helping Ted out like this. He’ll forget about wanting to.

Wanting to take care of Ted.

That empty feeling grows worse.

Ted shakes his hair into his face and shrugs his shoulders. He’s probably ruined the whole morning with his stupid thoughts circling the drain in his brain. 

Most of the time, things slip right down that drain and out of his head, and sometimes that means he forgets to do things, or forgets things he’s already learned. Sometimes, especially with his dad, people make him feel dumb for always forgetting. Bill’s one of the few people who never rolls his eyes when Ted admits to spacing out, or when Ted asks how to do something at work like fade the music on the production board.

“Ted,” Bill repeats.

A hand touches his knee, and when Ted glances up through his bangs, Bill’s standing between Ted’s spread thighs where he sits on the counter. Two plates of only-kind-of-burnt pancakes sit ready to be doused in butter and syrup.

So, Ted missed the whole making of breakfast being stupid.

His fingers dig into the sides of his thighs.

“Ted, talk to me, dude,” Bill encourages, running his knuckles softly and soothingly over Ted’s knee. His palm flattens out and he cups Ted’s thigh to squeeze it. “What’s wrong?”

“I— I,” Ted stutters. What does he say? What _is_ wrong with him? He presses his hands up to his face to cover his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Ted, there’s nothing wrong with _you_ ,” Bill replies, and his other hand moves to Ted’s other thigh. He squeezes both sides carefully before reaching up and curling his hands around Ted’s wrists. “Can you look at me, Ted?”

Ted shakes his head. Because he can’t look at Bill. If he does, he’s sure he’s going to spill everything and it’ll ruin everything and he just. Can’t face losing Bill. Bill is more than just his bandmate, more than just his best friend — Bill’s his other half.

But, maybe he’s not Bill’s.

“I… this is.” Ted swallows thickly and presses his heels into his eyes until those funny shapes start to show up. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”

Bill’s hands spasm on his legs and he slowly draws away. Ted’s heart cracks with every inch of space Bill puts between them.

“Can’t… do what, Ted?” Bill asks slowly.

“This… _thing_ , Bill.” He chokes on the words and shakes his head again, still unable to look at his friend. “I— I’m going to ruin everything, okay, so we shouldn’t, like, keep doing this.”

“Ted, what are you talking about?”

And Bill sounds so confused, of course he does. Because Bill is so good. He’s such a good dude, the _best_ dude, and so of course he doesn’t know how terrible Ted is. How bad he’s been this whole time, wanting Bill in ways that Bill could never give to Ted.

Ted sniffs softly, rubbing at his eyes and finally dragging his hands away. He doesn’t look up from his knees and instead twists his hands there, staring at them through bleary eyes. 

“I don’t. _Bill_.”

He finally takes a breath and glances up through his fringe. Bill looks so adorably confused and it makes Ted feel even worse. He straightens his back, shoulders down and chest out, chin up. Doesn’t look Bill in the eye, but at least he’s got his chin up.

 _Like a real man_ , his mind offers, sounding quite a lot like his father’s voice.

“I don’t want to be friends.” Bill lets out a pained noise and when Ted glances at him, Bill looks so hurt that Ted nearly crumples and takes it all back as a joke or something, but he can’t. “I— I don’t want to be _just_ friends, dude. I. Want to be more than friends. With you.”

Bill’s eyes widen, going comically large - which is saying something, considering how big and round Bill’s eyes actually are. Ted looks forward again, swallowing thickly.

“I can’t keep doing this when I feel the way I do.”

“How do you feel, Ted?”

“Like—” Ted bites at his lip and drops his gaze back to his lap. His fingers twist at the hem of his shirt. He’d changed out of Bill’s after their shower. “Like. I love you, Bill. More than I ever loved Elizabeth. I’m like, totally in love with you. You’re my best friend, and you take care of me better than anyone, and I’m gonna ruin everything because I’m just so- so stupid, I can’t get it through my head that we’re just. Just friends. It’s like my heart ran away from me, dude. So I don’t think we should—”

Bill pushes back between his thighs again and Ted’s so startled that he actually looks up just in time to feel Bill’s hands on his cheeks. Bill pushes up onto his toes and presses their lips together in the kiss Ted’s been craving for weeks now. Ted lets out a broken sound, eyes squeezing shut. It’s everything he’s wanted.

He’s got to be dreaming. Right?

He pulls away from Bill when he loses his breath, gasping for air against Bill’s cheek, and Bill does the same against his own.

“Bill, I don’t—”

“I’m in love with _you_ , Ted.” Bill’s words are whispered into his ear, making Ted’s heart thump painfully in his chest. “Like, for a while now. More than Joanna.”

“Whoa,” Ted whispers.

Bill pulls back and looks up at him, those deep green eyes drawing him in as they always do.

Bill… loves him? Bill loves him.

“Dude.”

Bill reaches up to brush his knuckles over Ted’s cheek with affection shining in his eyes. Ted is thrown back to that first night when he jerked off thinking about Bill, how Bill came into their bedroom and touched his cheek and said goodnight even when he thought Ted was asleep.

“If you want to be more than just friends, then I do, too,” Bill says with that serious face, his eyebrows furrowed and his chin jutting up confidently. “I want whatever you want, Ted. I want to be your best friend, and I want to take care of you for as long as I can have you.”

“It’s not… you’re not just waiting for a babe to come around?” Ted asks and reaches out with carefully shy hands to touch Bill’s waist.

“Ted, you _are_ a babe. The most bodacious babe I know.”

Ted grins and ducks his head, his nose scrunching up as he wriggles his shoulders to get out some of the excited, nervous energy filling his limbs.

“You’re the most bodacious babe I know, too, Bill.” Ted looks at him and his hands on Bill’s waist squeeze gently. “I just, like, want to be with you. Like.” He knows his cheeks are turning red but he urges himself to power through it. “Like _boyfriends_ , dude.”

“I want that too, Ted,” Bill tells him, cupping his knees and rubbing over the tops of his thighs. He leans up to kiss at Ted’s jaw, then his lips in a soft, lingering kiss. “Does that mean I can ask you on a date?”

“You want to take me on a date? No way,” Ted breathes, shaking his head. 

“Yes, way, Ted!” Bill laughs and nuzzles their noses together.

Ted feels so light and warm, like— a hot air balloon or something. Like he could float away at any minute if not for Bill’s hands on his legs grounding him. He laughs and Bill laughs, and it’s so nice that Ted presses their foreheads together.

“I’d go with you anywhere, duder,” Ted finally says.

“Good.”

“Maybe we should learn more about, like, what two dudes do together,” Ted mumbles as he tugs distractedly at the fabric of Bill’s shirt under his hands.

“We could totally go to the place in Riverside and find something, Ted,” Bill tells him, the smile on his face confident and beautiful. “Like, a gay porno or whatever.”

Ted processes this for a moment and perks up with a bright grin. “Sounds good to me, dude!”

They kiss again, and it’s.

Everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... how are we feeling my dudes? Who else is relieved now that they’ve had The Talk?
> 
> Just a reminder that this is not the end by a long shot. We’ve got quite a ways to go, still. They’re going to the porn shop in the next chapter... who knows what they’ll get up to there? 😏
> 
> Let me know what you think in a comment and think about leaving a kudo if you haven’t already!
> 
> You can reach out to me on twitter or tumblr: 
> 
> https://twitter.com/rvspberryjonas
> 
> http://rvspberryjvm.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how last chapter I said they were going to the sex shop in this chapter?
> 
> Well, these boys took a different turn. They went, “We just confessed our love and now we get to kiss!” So instead, the next chapter (which is finished!) will feature the sex shop.
> 
> Content warnings in the end notes. Mind the tags.

“Do you want to go to the shop this weekend?” Ted asks the next week when they’re in bed, feeling lazy and warm where they’re cuddled up together.

“Which shop, Ted?” Bill asks, and Ted barely makes out what he says where his mouth is smashed against Ted’s chest. He’s half asleep and drooling a little, and Ted probably shouldn’t but he totally thinks it’s cute.

He reaches up to play with Bill’s soft curls. “The sex shop, dude. The one in Riverside.”

“Oh yeah!” Bill perks up. “We should probably go tomorrow since we’re both off work!”

“Excellent thinking, Bill, my friend!”

“Thanks, Ted, my friend!”

They wiggle their fingers together while Ted’s body wriggles excitedly at the prospect of seeing what Bill’s already seen inside those blacked out windows.

Then Bill reaches up to wipe at his mouth and he winces before dragging the corner of the blanket over to wipe off Ted’s chest. “Sorry, duder. Didn’t mean to drool on you.”

“It’s okay,” Ted giggles, body wriggling beneath his best friend’s weight. “Remember when I had to clean out the trash cans when I got a C in English? Totally worse than you drooling on me, Bill.”

“Oh, heinous,” Bill laughs and leans in to kiss at Ted’s jaw.

The casual kisses happen all the time, now. Really, after their talk, it’s like Ted can’t stop kissing Bill. And it feels like Bill can’t stop kissing him, either. They kiss everywhere around the apartment, small as it is - in the kitchen, on their couch, in the bathroom, and especially in their bed.

The kisses aren’t always casual, though. Kissing has changed their morning routine in that now Ted usually comes panting Bill’s name into Bill’s mouth, and stealing his own name from Bill’s tongue when he shakes apart with his own orgasm. Sometimes, their kisses get Ted so hot that all it takes is the right pressure and movement against his dick and he’s right on the edge of coming.

Like the night Bill climbs into his lap while a movie they’ve seen a hundred times before plays on the TV. Ted’s eyes have fallen shut and Bill slides Ted’s hands to the cushions on either side of their bodies and presses down as he tugs Ted’s lower lip with his teeth. He startles them both with the desperate moan that slips out of his mouth, and Bill dives back in, eager tongue sliding over Ted’s. It’s slick and wet and the little noises in the back of Bill’s throat are driving him crazy.

Ted squirms on the couch as his dick chubs up in his jeans. Pulling away from the kiss, Bill locks eyes with Ted as he slowly rocks his ass down against Ted’s dick, making Ted whimper.

“Keep your hands where I put them,” Bill whispers his instructions, and Ted nods obediently, always willing to do what Bill tells him to.

Bill’s hands slip up to clutch his shoulders, hips rocking into Ted’s stomach before grinding his ass back against Ted. They haven’t done anything like this before, not anywhere else besides their bed, and not with clothes on like this. It’s pretty warm like this, Ted thinks to himself as sweat drips down the back of his neck. Also really _hot_ , like, watching Bill on top of him, feeling Bill’s dick pressing into his stomach everytime he rocks forward and feeling the plump roundness of his ass every time he rocks back.

Ted feels caught up and suspended right on the edge, and then Ted pulls back from a particularly deep kiss with a wet noise that leaves him shaking with how turned on and close he feels.

“Bill, Bill,” he chants, fingers digging into the cushions. He wants to touch Bill so bad, but he wants to be good for Bill even more. He shifts restlessly, but the more he tries not to think about how close he is, the more he thinks about how close he is and how hot Bill is, and how good it all feels, and— “Bill, I’m so— please, I need to—”

And Bill shifts his knees so they’re pushing either of Ted’s hands further into the cushions, and he rocks his ass against Ted’s hard dick still trapped in his jeans, and even as he pushes their mouths together, one of his hands slides from Ted’s shoulder to curl around the front of his neck. When he squeezes his fingers and swivels his hips, making the head of Ted’s dick catch against his worn-out boxers in just the right way, Ted groans and spills into the cotton, feeling the wet warmth soaking through his boxers and into his jeans.

Bill doesn’t shift his knees away from Ted’s hands even though he kneels up and practically rips the fly open to shove a hand inside. Ted’s still shaking from his own orgasm, panting roughly as he looks up at Bill, and can’t look away because Bill’s pretty eyes have him trapped.

“Bill…” Ted’s voice is deep and husky in a way he’s never really heard himself before. Then again, he’s never come quite like that before, either. He’s dazed and still a little turned on, and only needs one thing. “Bill, I wanna touch you, wanna make you come.”

“You don’t get to touch,” Bill says, shifting his weight so that it’s more on Ted’s hands, and Ted cries out at the feeling. Bill stops and shifts back but Ted shakes his head as his cheeks flush pink.

“Don’t, it feels- it feels good,” Ted whispers, looking at Bill and biting into his lower lip.

Bill pauses and smirks, shifting again so all his weight presses into the backs of Ted’s hands, and Ted thinks it should hurt more than it feels good, and yet he sits there feeling like Bill’s doing way more than kneeling on his hands.

“You’ve been so good for me,” Bill whispers, and the hand on his neck slips upwards to cup his jaw, tilting his head back so Ted has to look up at Bill.

Ted feels powerless and pinned, completely at Bill’s mercy, and it makes him feel a little floaty. Like he’s slipped under water and everything in him is focused on Bill. He’s panting along with Bill, moaning too like he’s the one jerking off, and when Bill’s thumb slips into his mouth, Ted lets his eyes fall closed as he sucks it down and only looks up again when Bill makes a choked off noise and then comes all over Ted’s shirt.

Groaning, Bill falls back in Ted’s lap to sit astride his thighs, and Ted watches Bill pant and shiver in his lap. He still keeps his hands where Bill put them, just like Bill asked him to, and he doesn’t dare move. He wants to be _good_ , for once in his life, and he wants to be good for Bill.

Bill leans in, frowning. “Ted? You okay, dude?”

Ted flops his head in an almost-nod, because he’s almost-okay, just- so floaty. But his mouth isn’t working for him to say it. His brain is kind of mushy, and floaty, and he feels good, but he’d really like it if Bill would like, pet his hair or kiss him or hold him or something.

“Let’s get you out of this shirt,” Bill murmurs and shifts his hands under Ted’s shirt to pull it off carefully, wincing at the cum on the front.

But Ted barely registers the fact that they’ll have to hand wash it in the sink before taking it to the laundromat down the street. He just wants to feel close to Bill. So he falls forward to press his face into Bill’s neck, and Bill grunts in surprise before one hand moves up to hold the back of Ted’s neck. It feels so nice. The floaty feeling goes warmer, less restless and more grounded, just from feeling Bill’s hand there.

“Maybe we should get you a shower next,” Bill says.

And he puts Ted in the shower by himself. Shuts the curtain. Leaves him alone and Ted—

Ted has to sit down on the floor of the shower, knees pulled up to his chest while his body trembles, ears ringing, because he feels lost and lonely. He rocks back and forth a little, working out his nervous energy, when suddenly Bill’s face is there looking concerned and a little sad, and Ted’s face falls with the thought of making Bill look that way. But then Bill is pushing into the stall with him and he sits behind Ted and wraps around him—

And it’s like Ted’s mind snaps back to life and slowly starts processing again. He takes a shaky breath, brain foggy and messy with emotions he can’t start to process.

“-ed? Ted?” Bill’s voice slowly filters into his ears and Ted reaches a hand up to squeeze Bill’s forearm.

His head feels heavy like when he’s about to get a really bad headache. Or like when he’s been crying. Or both.

“Hey, dude,” Bill sighs in relief, kissing at Ted’s cheek and his neck and his shoulder. He squeezes his arms around Ted. “You scared me a little. I went to go make us dinner while you washed up and when I came back in to check on you, you were— like this.”

Bill nuzzles into the side of Ted’s face and kisses his temple affectionately. It’s just so nice, being wrapped up in Bill’s arms and showered with loving attention.

“What happened, babe?”

Ted swallows past the thickness in his throat, swallows down spit because his mouth feels so dry, and he shrugs and shakes his head. “I… I don’t know, dude.”

Bill waits for another long moment, silently encouraging Ted to speak, but Ted doesn’t feel ready to talk about it.

Instead, he asks, “Can you- can you wash my hair?”

“Yeah, duder, of course I can.” Another kiss dropped to his head, and then Bill’s reaching for the shampoo to work it into a lather in Ted’s hair. “Tip your head forward, okay? And close your eyes.”

Ted does as he’s told, does just as Bill tells him. Bill even helps him tilt all the way into the spray of the hot water falling down around them, rubs his fingers through Ted’s hair until the suds are rinsed out, and then he carefully shifts away from Ted.

A small pained noise leaks from the back of his throat, like it stumbled off the tip of his tongue unknowingly, and Bill’s hands are immediately back on Ted’s neck, petting him gently. “Babe, I gotta turn off the stove and, like, we need to get you out of here and into bed. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Ted sniffs softly but nods. It’s not like he can make Bill stay. He can’t make anyone stay. Not his mom, though her death wasn’t her fault. Not his dad, who spent all his time working and being a drill sergeant instead of being a parent. And now, not even Bill—

Hands slip under his armpits and pull him to stand up, and it knocks him out of whatever spiral his mind sent him into. Most of the time, he can get by with having no thoughts; other times, it feels like so much happens in his head at once that processing one piece of information takes extra long. Right now, he’s having problems processing. And like, Ted really hates his mind sometimes. It’s a total dick to him.

Bill, on the other hand, is the most non-dickish to Ted, and Bill stays with him as he ushers Ted out of the shower, instructing him in a quiet tone to lift one leg, then the other. He pats Ted down with a towel and rubs every inch of his body from his feet up to his neck before he slings the towel around Ted’s head to dry his hair. Ted tips forward to lean against Bill, who makes a noise of surprise at the sudden weight of Ted’s body, but he just gentles his touch in Ted’s hair and then pulls the towel away.

“Do you want to put on clothes before you get into bed?” Bill asks him, rubbing soothingly up and down the back of Ted’s neck.

Shaking his head after a moment of processing, still unable to speak, Ted presses closer to Bill, who simply puts his arms around Ted and squeezes him tightly.

Ted lets out a pleased sigh and melts a little for the first time since Bill left him in the shower. He finally looks up from where he’s been staring at his feet and meets Bill’s eyes. Bill smiles widely back at him.

“There’s my Ted,” he murmurs, reaching up to cup Ted’s jaw in one hand. Ted presses his face into Bill’s palm and nuzzles his cheek against it affectionately. “You scared me for a bit, dude. I’m going to get you into bed and grab you some water and Tylenol, okay? And then I’ll be right back. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Ted takes a moment but he nods his understanding again. If Bill says so… Ted will try to listen this time, actually listen, instead of letting his head go on its own warpath against him. The whole episode is still too fresh for him to feel bad about yet, but he knows he’ll need the water and the Tylenol with the way his brain starts feeling too full and presses into the space behind his eyes.

After they shuffle into the bedroom and Bill pulls back the covers, he gets Ted settled into bed with the blankets pulled up to his chin and even tucks him in around the edges until Ted is giggling sleepily and finally smiles again.

“Babe,” Bill says, running his fingers through Ted’s hair. “I’m gonna get you water and Tylenol now, okay? Just like I told you in the bathroom. I’ll be right back. I’ll only be in the kitchen for a minute.”

Ted nods and curls his fingers into the insides of the blankets tucked around him, pulling them closer as a substitute for Bill’s arms. He shuts his eyes and when he blinks them back open, there’s Bill, sitting next to him with the Tylenol and a glass of water. He sets both on the amp they use as their nightstand and reaches out to brush his knuckles gently over Ted’s cheek.

“What else do you need, Ted?” Bill asks him.

Ted has to take a long moment to think. He doesn’t want to say he doesn’t know again and have his brain freak out, which would just freak out Bill, too. He just wants— he just _needs_ —

“Can you hold me?” Ted asks in a tiny voice, embarrassed at both his response and his request. “Maybe play with my hair?”

Bill nods emphatically and shifts over Ted’s body to slide under the covers and curl up against him. The warmth of his body, the firm grip of his arms around Ted’s waist, one hand splayed over the small of his back. The other pushes up into his hair to rub tiny circles into his scalp. His tender care brings Ted back from the dark floaty space and into the warm one that feels much better, and more… real.

They lay there like that for a long time, until Ted’s breathing evens out and his eyes are closed and he’s pliant and sighing happily each time Bill’s fingers swirl behind his ears.

“Feeling better?” Bill whispers to him, his nails scraping over Ted’s scalp. “Think you can sit up and take those Tylenol and drink your water, babe? For me?”

“Yeah,” Ted replies, letting out a tiny pleased sound before Bill’s fingers slip away from his hair.

Ted blinks his eyes open, rubbing at them like he’d been sleeping, and sits up to reach for the Tylenol. His hand shakes a little when he grabs the glass, but Bill helps him steady it as he swallows down the pills with a few gulps, and then Bill encourages him to drink the rest, too. Once the glass is empty and he’s sat it back on the amp, Bill pulls Ted back into his arms.

“What happened in the shower, Ted?” Bill asks, and he sounds so concerned that Ted feels bad.

Because he doesn’t know what happened.

“I don’t know,” Ted answers truthfully. “It was weird, dude. Like, when you were still, um, jerking off, my brain felt all floaty and— and it just felt really bad, like, when you left me alone in the shower? I don’t know why it happened.” Ted swallows thickly and pushes his hands into his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Listen, dude,” Bill tells him, reaching out to pull Ted’s hands away from his face. The look he gives Ted is serious and sincere and makes Ted feel seen and loved in a way he hasn’t in a long, long time. “Listen. We’ll go to that shop tomorrow and maybe we can find out if this is normal. Maybe it’s something sex related. And if it’s not, well, we’ll figure it out, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”

Ted blinks when Bill says it, but he nods and ducks his head. He’s willing to try it, and he trusts Bill when he says they’ll figure it out.

“Okay,” he agrees, nodding, and he reaches out to curl his arms around Bill’s waist. Ted pulls him in close and turns them so Ted’s laying on his back with Bill laying pressed over his body. “Lay on me. Like this. Keep me tied down.”

“Tied down?” Bill repeats slowly, raising a single eyebrow.

Ted flushes a bit, because sometimes things come out of his mouth and they don’t really make sense and he can’t stop them from slipping out and making him sound like an idiot.

“It probably doesn’t make sense,” Ted relents mournfully, his arms slipping away from Bill’s waist. “Tied down like. Like a big hot air balloon. I feel— like I could float away, dude, but if you’re on me I feel— it feels—”

“Like you’re tied down. In a good way,” Bill says, and he shifts above Ted until their legs are tangled a little and Bill’s cheek is pressed to Ted’s chest. “Like this?”

Ted sighs happily and wraps his arms back around Bill. “That’s perfect.”

“We still need to eat dinner,” Bill reminds him.

But Bill sounds as sleepy as Ted feels, so Ted doesn’t keep himself from drifting off. And with Bill’s body splayed over him, keeping him tethered to the ground, Ted lets himself slip under the spell of dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Ted experiences a mild sub-drop from being left alone immediately after a relatively mild scene where Bill kneels on Ted’s hands to pin him to the couch. Ted enjoys the scene but seeing as they’re newbies to d/s play, they know nothing about aftercare.
> 
> ~~~
> 
> How are we feeling so far, babes? There had to be a hiccup, right? Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter. I don’t know when I’ll be posting it but “gay babies go to the sex shop” is the premise of the entire chapter. This chapter was “angst central” I guess, lol.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter title: Baby’s First Trip to the Sex Shop.

The next day, when they both have off, Bill and Ted pack themselves into the car and drive half an hour over to Riverside to park in that fateful shopping center. They sit in the car together, engine off and tape deck silent, for a long moment. Bill reaches over from the driver’s seat to curl his fingers around Ted’s hand.

“You ready to go in, duder?” Bill asks him, squeezing Ted’s hand.

Bill treats him so well, takes such good care of Ted, and Ted vows to get them something special from this shop. Something Bill will really like, hopefully, as a thank you for all that he does for Ted. He’s scrounged up a small amount of money for their little shopping trip, enough to hopefully buy a few things. It helps that they’ve been bumming it around the house for the past couple of weeks, so involved in their little love fest that going out didn’t really have the same draw to it anymore.

So Ted looks over at Bill, grins brightly, and nods until his hair is flopping into his face. “Ready, dude.”

Bill doesn’t hold his hand walking into the shop, and Ted doesn’t reach for it either. That would draw all the wrong kinds of attention to them. Once they’re inside, Ted stuffs his hands into his pockets and peers through the rather clean and tidy aisles filled with all kinds of things.

VHS tapes in the corner, where Bill undoubtedly got that porno he brought home. Books and magazines along the back wall.

The first row Ted comes up to has all sorts of fancy, frilly underwear for girls. There are so many colors and styles, short skirts and sets with, like, straps and stuff that make Ted’s brain boggle a little. He’d stay looking at them, but neither of them are babes, and Ted doesn’t want to seem weird by feeling the shiny material of a skirt or the pattern of lace on one of the tiny dresses, so he moves on.

The next aisle is all for lube and condoms and these special boxes, some of which look like treasure chests. He trails his fingers over one and wonders what it’s for, reaching for the tag to flip it over. _Toy Chest - $39.99_ the tag reads.

A toy chest? Ted could totally buy a toy box at Toys R Us for way cheaper. Maybe because it’s for adults, it’s more expensive, but Ted doesn’t get why an adult would need a toy chest. He and Bill just keep their toys all over the apartment.

When Ted gets to the next aisle, his eyes kind of bug out of his head. There are a lot of dick-shaped things. These are… sex things. It’s a sex shop, and maybe Ted should have expected it, but mostly he thought they’d be selling porno tapes and skin mags, not. These. Some look realistic, some are different colors, some are bigger and some are smaller. Some even boast coming with batteries, which makes Ted’s mouth drop open as he steps closer to that particular package. Reaching up, he flips the package over and it’s like his brain short-circuits when he reads that it _vibrates_. It’s cheap, cheap enough that he could still buy something else if he wanted, so Ted grabs it and tries not to blush too much as he shuffles back up to the front where Bill’s finally meandered over to the cashier.

“Uh, miss? Could you, like, help me with something?” Bill asks. It’s not the smoothest delivery of his question, but it’s way better than Ted would manage.

The woman behind the register has dark hair and heavy eyeliner around her eyes and black lipstick on her mouth with a silver ring curving over the middle of her lower lip. She’s intimidating in her black mesh shirt covered with a Black Sabbath shirt, which makes Ted perk up.

“Love your shirt, dude-girl!” Ted offers from behind Bill, grinning even as she rolls her eyes at him.

“What do you need?” she asks Bill in a bored tone, looking at the chipping black polish on her nails. “The pornos are under the sign that says ‘Videos.’ That's over in the corner, if you have trouble reading.” She points one chipped finger to said corner, and then arches a single eyebrow at them. Something about her look seems accusatory. “We’ve got a special on teen anal flicks, two-for-one.”

Their mouths drop open and they both blush. Bill starts stuttering, holding his hands up in surrender. Though Ted is a little embarrassed by the suggestion, it also makes him curious about what kind of videos they offer. He looks over his shoulder and bites his lip. Girls having butt sex can’t be so different from guys doing it too, right?

“Uhhh. No, not really the- listen, I had like, sex related questions, if you could help me?” Bill asks, wincing. Ted wishes he could go kiss Bill’s cheek or like, hold his hand or something, just to encourage him, but he knows better than to do that in front of some random person in a sex shop.

The woman sighs and rolls her eyes again but drops down to sit on the stool situated behind the counter. “I’ll see if I can help. What seems to be the problem, Brad?”

“Uh. It’s Bill,” he corrects her, but they both know it’s a dig at their intelligence and the way they speak. They’re both used to it by now. “Well, I have this— _girlfriend._ ” Ted mentally gives Bill a little air guitar for his quick thinking. “And we, uh. We were doing things the other day, and afterwards h-she kind of, um, had a freak out? Do you think it’s sex related?”

“Were you doing a scene?”

“What’s that?” Bill asks, cocking his head to the side, and Ted cocks his head too because he’s curious.

“A… BDSM scene? Like, do you and your girlfriend do dom/sub play?”

“We don’t eat during sex,” Bill replies easily, shaking his head. “I hate food in the sheets.”

“No, not—” The woman pinches the bridge of her nose and Ted feels his shoulders creeping up to his ears. He’s seen that look so many times, usually when people are exasperated by his inability to understand whatever they’re trying to say. “Not sub sandwiches. Like, dominance and submission.”

Bill looks over his shoulder at Ted and their faces are mirror images of surprise.

Turning back to the cashier, Bill lifts a shoulder and angles his body the way he does when he’s trying to be clever and shifty. Ted can tell, because he knows Bill, but the woman just looks done with the whole conversation.

“Uh, I think so, yeah,” Bill says, licking his lips. “We’re like, really new to it? So. We don’t know a whole lot. And I just don’t want hi-her to feel bad again, you know? She’s really special to me and it was most heinous.”

The woman sits there on the stool, drumming her fingers against her arms where she has them crossed, with her lips pursed like she’s thinking it over. Finally, she sighs deeply and shoves a hand through her hair.

“Whatever, _fine_ , baby dom, I’ll clue you in,” she says, and Ted frowns because he doesn’t know what that means, ‘baby dom.’ Is she, like, trying to flirt with Bill? “I’ll give you a run-through and there are a couple books you can buy that explain it better.” She looks pointedly at Ted, who looks away like he’s exploring his options for… the _World’s Biggest Dildo._ Bogus. When Ted glances back, she’s fighting back a smile. “You want to listen in too, Brad Number Two? Knowledge is power.”

Ted shrugs and shuffles over to stand next to Bill, the box with the “vibrator” held carefully in his hands.

“So, basically, when you’re in the moment and playing with dominance and submission, we in the BDSM community call it a scene. Like in a movie. You have roles - the dom, or dominant partner, and you have the sub, or the submissive partner,” the woman explains as she ticks off her fingers. “Sometimes people like to switch between the two, which is why they’re called a switch. Most people have a preference, though. It sounds like you’re the dom, Brad. We call new doms in the community baby doms because you’re just starting out.”

She grins, and it’s a little mean, but Ted thinks he likes her even if it’s only because she’s giving them information they wouldn’t otherwise have.

“Okay, so I’m the dom, and- and _she_ is the sub,” Bill repeats back, clearing his throat when he stutters over trying to use the right pronoun for the situation. “And we do a- a scene, or whatever, when we’re um. Playing. Like that.”

“Yes,” she nods slowly. “Which is why I called it dom/sub play. It’s one form of play in BDSM. There are others, like bondage - which is when you tie someone up - or pain play, or- look, the different kinds of play are a completely different conversation, and I’m only covering the basics.” She leans forward against the counter. “No matter what kind of scene you’re doing, doms and subs both need what’s called aftercare.”

“Aftercare,” Ted repeats quietly, face scrunching up as his brain tries to process that. “What’s aftercare?”

“It’s what it sounds like,” she says, tapping her nails on the counter. “It’s care that takes place after the scene. Sometimes it’s just cuddling, sometimes it’s eating together, or taking a bath or whatever. If you have the sub tied up, it’s important to massage their skin where they were restrained to make sure they’re okay, to show them that you’re paying attention and that you care. Or if you did a spanking scene, rub arnica cream or lotion where their skin might be sore and bruised.”

 _Spanking scene._ Those two words had Ted shifting on his feet, feeling a little hot under the collar as he thinks about being bent over Bill’s lap, having Bill’s hand collide against his ass-

“Some subs really need contact after. Affection. Or else they have what’s called a sub-drop,” she continues, and Ted perks up again with wide eyes. Is that what happened to him…? “It’s almost like a temporary depressive episode” When they both stare at her with empty eyes, obviously not comprehending her explanation, she rolls her eyes again. “The sub can get really sad, or irritable, or any number of things. Ending a scene can be like coming down from a high, and the more intense the scene, the sharper the drop. So, it’s important for the dom to take care of their sub after a scene.”

“So it’s normal? For that to happen?” Ted pipes up. It sounds like it’s normal. Like _he_ is normal. 

“Yeah, Brad Two, it’s normal,” she tells him. “Sometimes the dom drops, too. It can be as simple as exhaustion, or it can be as complicated as thinking you’re a terrible person for doing things to your partner. It goes both ways, which is why it’s important for the dom and the sub to actually communicate what’s going on in their heads and in their bodies so they can take care of each other. Communication is key, Brads.”

She pulls something out from behind the counter and slides it towards Bill.

“I’d recommend that you and your _girlfriend_ fill these out and then compare them after you’re done,” she says. When Ted peeks over Bill’s shoulder, he sees her nail tapping the title of the sheets. _BDSM Contract_.

“Whoa,” Ted and Bill say simultaneously.

The woman snorts in amusement, her black lips twitching at the corner against a smile.

“Me and _my girlfriend_ fill these out every few months,” she tells them and looks between them pointedly. “So you two might want to fill them out and revisit them further down the line.”

Ted shakes his hair into his face to hide his blush while Bill fiddles with his hat and pushes a hand through his curls, tugging on the ends and clearing his throat in embarrassment at being called out so directly.

The woman walks from behind the counter and waves her hand at them, ushering them to walk with her. She leads them over to the books and veers away from the erotic fiction with scantily clad people drawn on the front, and heads towards a small stack of nonfiction, which Bill and Ted would usually never touch. Picking through them, she pulls out a small paperback book with a black cover with _BDSM Guide_ printed in simple white text.

“This is a good starter guide,” she tells Bill. “We only have a few books about other kinks and things, but this is a good place to begin. It goes over dynamics, the most popular types of play, aftercare, and safety during a scene. Do you guys have your safewords?”

“Uh?” they reply at once, looking at each other in confusion.

The woman sighs and wipes a hand over her face. “Oh, you poor, sweet babies. Read the part on safety before you do another scene. And read up on aftercare. It’ll help.”

Bill takes the book from her and looks around the shop. “It’s cool if we look around for other things too, right?”

“By all means,” she says with a mean smile, arms spreading out to gesture to the store. “The store is your playground. You break it, you buy it.”

Ted looks over the books before heading towards the magazines. He spots one with half-naked guys on the front and his fingers twitch for a moment, then finally lets himself reach out for it. He flips through absently, stopping on a spread of a guy with blonde curls before he realizes it’s only because the guy looks like Bill. The knowledge hits him and makes him smile, and he almost puts the magazine back, but he spots an article on… giving blowjobs. His ears grow hot as he pulls it back and skims it over - but he can’t read it and process it with so little time and so little focus. Especially not when he really wants to go look throughout the rest of the store. It’s cheap, too, so he adds it to his pile.

He heads towards the tapes after that, and picks through them. There are stickers marking the ones on sale, as if the covers and titles weren’t enough to clue Ted in. They’re enough to make him blush, honestly. He finds a couple he really likes, though they’re not on sale, and they’re not _not_ cheap, which is kind of heinous, but one’s a gay porno with a blonde dude and a brunette dude and they look enough like BIll and himself that Ted feels overwhelmed with the need to watch it.

There’s another one that he fiddles with, sliding his fingers around the edge, but it’s not on sale either and he doesn’t know what Bill would say if he saw the title. _Please, Daddy_ would totally be a stretch, right? It was weird… right?

Ted puts it back like it’s on fire and heads towards the last aisle he still hasn’t seen. This one has the heavier stuff that makes Ted swallow heavily. Lots of leather, lots of chains, lots of straps, and Ted thinks some of it goes on bodies while other seems to be equipment, and it’s a lot for him to handle until he spots something really innocuous.

Why were there pet collars in a sex shop?

He reaches out with his free hand to touch the leather, feeling how smooth and supple and soft it is. Are these made for people to wear?

Ted thinks about it. About what the collar would feel like around his neck. His fingers have curled around the strip of black leather when Bill pops up at the end of the aisle.

“You almost ready, duder?”

It startles Ted enough that he snatches his hand back and turns bright red, just like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Yep!” Ted replies, and though his voice is a little higher than normal, Bill just frowns and cocks his head to the side. “Are you?”

“I want to look at, like, a couple more things first,” he says, eyes trailing over the aisle Ted’s in. “You go ahead and I’ll be up in a moment.”

“Okay, Bill,” Ted nods obediently, and when he passes Bill as he heads towards the register, Bill reaches a hand up to cup the back of Ted’s neck, squeezing before he rubs the soft skin gently.

“You’re being really good, babe,” Bill whispers. Ted grins and shrugs, ducking his head shyly. He loves hearing that from Bill. Ted can tell just from the way Bill’s eyes keep flicking down to his mouth that Bill wants to kiss him. Ted wants to kiss Bill, too. “Doing so well. D’you want to get pizza for lunch on our way back?”

“That sounds like a most excellent plan, duder,” Ted replies just as quietly, and he lets his own hand pass over Bill’s hip. “Pepperoni and pineapple?”

“You know it,” Bill laughs, and squeezes one last time before he gestures with his head. “Go on. I’ll be right there.”

Ted nods and makes his way up to the register to put down his selections in front of the woman.

“Find everything you needed?” she asks with a tiny smirk on her lips, and Ted just nods and shrugs as he thinks about the video he put back, and the collar he didn’t take. “I’ll give you a special discount on videos if you want to grab another. Two-for-one. Not just the teen anal, either.”

Ted flushes again. He doesn’t think he’s blushed this much since sex ed class in middle school where they brought all the guys in their grade into the gym and talked about boners and condoms.

“I’ll wait here. Go on, Brad Two!”

“It’s Ted,” he tells her quietly, and turns to go back towards the videos.

“I’m Cynthia,” she offers back. Ted looks over his shoulder and she gives him a smile. A genuine one, not the mean ones or the little smirks.

Ted smiles brightly back at her and hurries over to the tapes, grabbing the one he was too nervous to take before he goes back up to the register. Cynthia rings him up, and it’s more money than he’d expected to spend here, but less than the total he’d brought. He hands over a few crumpled bills and some loose pennies in his pocket, taking his change back and sorting it into his wallet while she places his things in a brown paper bag.

“Thanks, Cynthia,” he says, smiling shyly, and she grins and rolls her eyes.

“Shoo, now, puppy,” she says, waving him away from the counter. “Baby dom should be done soon. Why don’t you go look at the pretty things again? Don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing them up earlier.”

Ted stutters trying to explain himself before sighing when she just cackles knowingly, but he takes her advice. He wanders down the aisle, reaching out to touch the pieces that catch his eye - there’s one in particular, a lacy white dress-thing that’s see-through and really pretty, that he touches with concealed pleasure. He wonders what it’d feel like against his skin. That’s as far as he lets his mind wander before he reels himself back in and spots Bill taking his bag from Cynthia.

Bill stops at the top of the aisle and looks around at the things hanging from the racks, all the fancy, frilly, pretty things that Ted’s been staring at and touching softly. But instead of looking at Ted like he’s grown another head, or like Bill’s weirded out, Bill just smiles at him.

“You ready, duder?”

“Ready,” Ted nods affirmatively, and follows Bill back out to the van.

Sitting shotgun as always, Ted keeps the paper bag between his feet while Bill stashes his behind the driver’s seat.

“What’d you get?” Bill asks him and reaches over to rest his hand on Ted’s knee.

Ted grins and reaches down to cover Bill’s hand. “Uhhh. A tape. A magazine.”

“Yeah? What kind of tape?”

“A gay one,” Ted says quietly before he glances out the window.

“Oh yeah,” Bill says, and when Ted glances over, Bill looks thoughtful. “We said we were gonna get one a couple weeks ago, didn’t we? That way we know what we’re supposed to do.”

“Exactly, dude,” Ted nods, and his smile only grows when Bill looks over at him.

It’s bright out, and it’s late afternoon, and Bill looks so handsome in the driver’s seat backlit by the warm sunlight outside. He feels thankful, all of a sudden, to have Bill in his life.

Ted giggles softly when Bill tickles his knee, making Ted squirm and squeeze Bill’s hand tighter. Bill laughs too, and it’s- it’s nice. Familiar. Intimate in a non-sexual way, the way Bill knows where to touch Ted to make him moan as much as he knows where to touch him to make him laugh. He lingers on those thoughts even as Bill puts on the radio and they hum quietly along with the music. When they stop at their usual pizza stop, Antonio’s, Ted leans over and kisses Bill’s cheek quickly.

“Thanks for taking me today,” Ted whispers once he’s settled back in his seat. “It was… it was good, right? We know that I’m normal.”

“Ted, I’ve always known that,” Bill tells him, rubbing his hand over the top of Ted’s thigh. “You’re my Ted, right?”

“Right,” Ted breathes. There’s sunshine in his chest again just with those reassuring words.

“Now… pepperoni and pineapple?”

“Yeah,” Ted laughs and opens the door to the van. “Pepperoni and pineapple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a LOT more information about d/s dynamics that I took out so that it wasn’t just info dump after info dump, but it was really important to me to spotlight realistic d/s relationships and the development of them. For a lot of people, it’s not just a kink or fetish, but a dynamic of power and care, and that’s what I’m trying to establish between them.
> 
> Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially writing Cynthia.
> 
> Consider leaving a kudo or a comment, subscribe to the story for updates, and feel free to follow and/or reach out to me on Twitter (where I’m more active) or tumblr:
> 
> https://twitter.com/rvspberryjonas
> 
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